


I'll Get You Through

by dreamchaser31



Series: I'll Get You Through [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Bifrost, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Espionage, F/M, Family, Fluff, For Science!, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jane Foster is Tony Starks daughter., M/M, Miscarriage, Multi, Nightmares, Past Child Abuse, Protective Tony Stark, Relapse, Romance, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamchaser31/pseuds/dreamchaser31
Summary: Bucky is in love. Jane is afraid. And Darcy has a taser. The rest are along for the ride.





	1. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm in love."
> 
> "What's his name?"

Darcy took a large bite of her spaghetti making a loud slurping sound with the noodles as her boyfriend turned the page in the newspaper he was reading, and her _other_ boyfriend looked at her in annoyance.

“You’re disgusting, you know that?” She grinned, and wiped the corner of her mouth with a napkin. She reached over and took his glass of water from him, ignoring his protests. “That’s mine. Get your own!”

“I remember there are times when you love it when I make that noise.” Sam glared at her, and she can see Steve hide a smirk behind the newspaper. “And what’s with you. You know there are things called tablets these days. Use them. Save trees. Be all heroic and Captain America-y. You know? Save the world one tree at a time.”

This time he rolled his eyes, but chose not to bite. She knew he wouldn’t. Out of the two men in her life, Sam was the one who argued with her the most.

They continued their battle of stares as she ate and he guarded his cup with his life, when Bucky burst through the door to their apartment. “Ever heard of knocking, Barnes? We coulda’ been naked and slurping things.” Steve turned bright red and put his paper down.

“’Darce-“

“I’m in love,” Bucky walked quickly towards them, takes a seat and pulls Steve’s plate of pasta towards him.

“What do you mean, “You’re in love”? You found him? You found the one?!”

“Ha funny, doll. The nineties called. They want their beanie back.”

Darcy hooted in delight and gives him a high five, as Steve gets up and fixes himself another plate after handing Bucky a glass of milk, which he gulps down in two seconds. “Who is she Buck?”

Bucky muttered something under his breath about ‘glasses not being big enough,’ before turning to his old friend and responding. “Jane Foster. Gorgeous dame. Long dark hair-“he trails off eyes staring into the blank space in front of him, and Sam laughed

“Wait. Where have you even seen Jane,” Darcy asked as she poured him another glass of milk, before removing her and Sam’s plates from the table, and uncorking a bottle of wine.

“Lab 10. They were moving her in. Stark asked for help with some heavy lifting.”

Darcy shot a glare at Steve. “That bitch didn’t tell me she was coming back!”

“Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you broke her computer last time you were in her lab. The one she built herself.”

“That was an accident!” She turned to Bucky and pours him a glass of wine. “There was a spider and my hand slipped.”

Sam snorted, and sat his glass down. “Five times, babe. You beat the thing to death with her computer, five times. Even Widow is afraid of you.”

Darcy rolled her eyes and found her seat again. “It worked didn’t it? Still. She could’ve at least called and said she was coming back. I gave that woman the best five years of my life. And this is how she thanks me?”

“You’re being dramatic, Darce.”

“Shut up, Steve.”

Bucky finished up his meal and shoved the plate back, and took his glass Darcy just drew for him. “Dunno. Didn’t ask questions. She didn’t say much. Selvig was ordering all the interns around while she watched.”

“That’s weird,” Darcy looked at Sam concerned, who also looked up from his tablet.

“That doesn’t sound like Foster at all. She usually runs a tight ship. Something about organized chaos, and knowing exactly where the coffee is at all times. She’s gotten me through many coffee emergencies.”

“Maybe you can therapize her, Sammy?”

Steve choked on his drink and Sam shot his girlfriend another annoyed glare. “That’s not what I do. Is that what you think I do?”

“Shh. I’m talking to Bucky!”

Bucky watched them all in vast amusement and slight irritation. Talking to Steve and Sam’s girl more often than not led to intense emotional drama. She was very good at helping him get accustomed to modern slang and technology. She was also very good at confusing the shit out of him, and briefly wondered how Sam and Steve kept up with her.

Didn’t matter now. All that mattered was getting that dame on his arm. He knew Darcy knew her, and was hoping she could help. He never had issues before when picking up dames, but after watching Steve and Sam with Darcy, he was no longer convinced that it was that easy.

Especially considering that Dr. Foster seemed to be in another league of her own.

 

Jane slid her glasses on to the top of her head and let go of the breath she’d been holding the last ten minutes it felt like. She wasn’t in her old lab, this one was new, and even more state of the ark if at all possible. Stark knew how to impress.

She just wasn’t where she wanted to be.

She wanted to be in the stars. That was her job, wasn’t it? To study the stars. To _live_ in the stars. But one right after the other, each of her carefully executed plans failed. One by one, each dream, each notch she marked off her checklist. Each hope that one day there would be something more meaningful in her life failed to make its existence.

Even her baby. She couldn’t even carry her baby right.

Sure women miscarried every day. And it wasn’t her fault per say. But when you feel like you failed at everything in life, something like this could take up your whole existence.

She was grateful to Stark for letting her come back here and join heads with him and Dr. Banner. ‘ _The Scientists Three,_ ’ he’d said. Probably some thinly veiled attempt to goad at Thor. His dislike for the Thunder God, growing with each passing day he didn’t make his presence known.

But Jane didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, that chapter in her life was closed. Another failure chalked up to Jane Foster.

Even now as she stood in what could only be described as a scientist’s candy land, she could only wrap her arms around her mid-section, and stare.

This wasn’t supposed to be her life.

 

The welcoming party was Tony’s idea. A welcome home for Jane, or just an excuse to get everyone together and have a good time. No one would ever know for sure. For one, no one ever wanted to get into Tony’s head. It was scary in there.

Darcy, hadn’t seen Jane yet. The tiny scientist had mountains of paperwork to do, and each text she sent her friend, she’d only get one line responses.

“ _I’m fine, Darcy.”_

_“I did eat, Darcy.”_

_“Sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming back, Darce.”_

Steve said it was a good thing that she was at least communicating with her. Means she wasn’t mad at her per say. But Darcy couldn’t be sure. Especially when she showed Sam the responses, and his brow furrowed in that way it did when something wasn’t right. Even though he was too kind to say it out loud.

So Darcy kept watch of the door. As was another pair of blue eyes, that stood next to her. “Did you even talk to her, Barnes? Say hi? You know the usual? Because let me tell you. With Jane, you have to grab her attention with Science or Poptarts, to get her to really pay attention. Or else she forgets.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, just nursed his drink, that she knew absolutely had no effect on him whatsoever. She and Sam regularly complained about Steve and Bucky that way.

“Like I said, doll. She wasn’t talking much.”

They both looked up as Jane entered the room with Tony, and the whole room, mostly science associates, and Avengers clapped. The Nobel prize winner looked taken by surprise, and let out a shy smile and wave, before turning with Tony as he walked her to the bar with Bruce.

Was it her or did Tony seem really, more protective than usual, of the tiny woman he like to call his “daughter of Science?”

“Something’s wrong,” Darcy muttered, as she sat her bag with Sam, and began marching toward the three scientists who all have their heads together, talking quietly.

“What do you mean, doll,” Bucky looked concerned.

“Something’s happened to Jane. And I’m about to go see who’s ass I need to taze. If it’s the tall, blonde one, Steven I’ll need your back up.”

She left in a huff leaving the three men to look at each other and wonder what the hell was going on now.


	2. Glimpse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ever been told you have the most beautiful smile, doll?"

Jane sighed at the loud music, exploding from the speakers in the lab next door. Darcy was probably trying to irritate Tony into getting lunch again. And from what she could tell, she was probably, most definitely succeeding.

“TURN THAT DAMN HIPPIE MUSIC DOWN, LEWIS!”

“IT’S JASON MRAZ! AND NOT UNTIL YOU EAT THAT SANDWICH!”

She figured they’d be going at this for a while, so she reached into her desk drawer and got out her Starkbuds. Something that Tony would never stop doing. Putting the name Stark in front of everyday items and calls it his own. Starkbuds. Starkphones. Starkpod. Starkphone. Stark insanity. She put the earbuds in her ears to block out the sound, and finish some of her moving reports.

All of her work, all of it was now owned by Stark Industries. A protection in her contract that should something happen to her, in the event of anything life threatening or catastrophic, Tony, Pepper, and Stark Industries would not let her work get into the wrong hands.

Wormholes were no longer an imaginative reality. No longer a thing of Science Fiction. And with Jane being able to create them, made her work hunted, many trying to get her equations and equipment for their own personal gain.

But Jane had been to Asgard. She’d been to some of the coldest, darkest points in the universe, and she shuddered to imagine her work getting into the wrong hands.

Tony brought up the idea in over the phone negotiations. He’d seen the portal up close and personal in New York. Wasn’t that why he invented Ultron. The plan back-fired, but seriously, how can you imagine a world as dark as that. You didn’t. He knew what her work could do. He wanted to protect her, and it. Stark Industries vastly opposed the government that constantly stuck their noses where they didn’t belong.

So did Jane.

Since Thor, she spent millions and millions of dollars in her research. Her hard work. Her sweat. Her tears. She didn’t need to ask for forgiveness for not want to share. She could be selfish that way. It was hers. And them feigning ignorance over facts and circumstances, forgetting the Greenwich incident for their own games. Well that’s on them. “Fuck ‘em.” As Darcy would say.

She finishes up reading the Stark Industries _Code of Conduct_. Or more like the ‘ _if Tony Stark gets out of line at all costs, please report to Human Resources, aka Maria Hill,_ lecture statement.  

Tony wasn’t really bad. She kind of sort of adored him. He was always good to her. But he could be kind of an ass to the interns, even though, Jane thought, sometimes they deserved it. Kids these days were spoilt, entitled. They never wanted to actually put in the hard work it took to get the job done, they only cared about the finish product, and being the one to be the intern who helped Dr. Foster prove her thesis. Fame and notoriety, and spot among the educated elite. The Avenger elite, five-star scientists.

Or as Tony would say, “ _The best fucking minds in this fucking world.”_

She continued onto re-reading her actual contract. She knew it backwards and forwards, but this was keeping her from actual work. She was at a standstill, of wanting to pursue her passion, and just being done with the whole thing.

She was turning thirty next month, and although she had accomplished her Nobel, her personal life was in shatters. The things she hoped to accomplish professionally, well, that list was well checked off. Personally her life was shit.

She should’ve listened to her mom all those years ago. She should’ve gone out more. Should’ve worn that dress. Shouldn’t have worn that one. Should’ve put on a little eye make-up. Should’ve studied a little less, after all, exams were over a month away.

She hadn’t cared then. Her work, her studies were just that important.

She cared now.

After reading out Pepper’s carefully worded contract, she was currently making more in one year, then she had her entire life up to this, she stuffed the documents in her desk, and ran a hand down her face with a sigh. She noticed the music in Lab 12 had been turned down so she stuffed the Starkbuds in there too and shut the drawer closed, with a huff and stood.

A glimpse of a metal arm was the only warning she had to see that she had company.

“You’ve been thinkin’ pretty hard, doll. I’ve been here ten minutes. Besides all that music. Somethin’ on your mind?”

She squinted her eyes, trying to picture where she remembered him from. Tony’s party last night was a hit in miss in her lazy memories. She hadn’t wanted to be there, and was I bad mood because Tony made her go. But she couldn’t deny that the metal arm hadn’t caught her eye. She even considered asking Tony to give her a crash course in engineering. Her hands were aching to get on that thing, to take it apart. Her mind was more reasonable. This was a human being, and his own personal arm. _Keep calm, Jane._

“Hi. You’re James, right?”

At first glance she could see that he was damn, good looking. Much like Steve was in a darker, sort of way, with blue-grey eyes that could pierce your soul in three seconds. And an accent that sometimes turned pure Brooklyn that you thought you were in the thirties, Steve didn’t have that. She tried not to giggle at the thought.

It was easy to see how the two were such good friends though, in the limited minutes she got to talk to them last night. Steve had his back. Bucky had Steve’s. It was clear from minute one. Strangely enough it was Bucky who came up and talked to her first.

She watched him nod, and there are those eyes again. “Bucky Barnes. We met last night.”

“Oh. Yeah I remember you. You helped move all my stuff in here. I didn’t get to thank you for that.”

“Anything for a beautiful, dame. I don’t mind the heavy lifting sometimes.” He winked, and there was a pool of heat in her belly that hasn’t been there in a long time. “I just stopped by to see if maybe you wanted to go and get something to eat. I overheard something about Darcy needing to pull you down to the food court after she was done shoving food down Dr. Banner. I figured maybe I could save you the hassle.”

“My hero,” the sarcasm in her voice took a teasing edge, so he would know that she wasn’t against it, and turned her computer off.

She watched him flick an imaginary fleck off of his black shirt, which only helped highlight what she could assume was a very impressive chest, and give her that slow grin that let her know of his charm. “Oh you know, I aim to please, Miss.”

“I could go for a salad,” she grabbed her purse and headed to the door, which he opened for her. _What do you know? Chivalry isn’t dead._

“Lead the way, beautiful.”

 

They ended up on the food court near the top, which was only for those exclusive in the Avenger circle. According to James it had the best damn Reubans in the world. She could only grin. She wasn’t a big meat eater. If she did eat it, it was usually something fresh from the deli. It tended to give her stomach issues. She settled for a chef salad, which Bucky would not let her pay for.

“My treat,” he smiled and she wanted to protest. But didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or call him out with so many people around.

The Avenger exclusive had grown over the years. And for some reason they all knew of her. It made her a little self-conscious. They found their seat, a little booth in the back of the dining room, far from prying eyes.

She poured the ranch over her salad, and dug in, and Bucky grinned his approval.

“Where you from, doll?” His sandwich was the biggest thing she’d ever seen. And he’d gotten two of them! She didn’t know any specifics on the serum that Steve was given, she was just old that Bucky had it too. But she knew Steve’s appetite, and she couldn’t fault Bucky his, she guessed.

“I’m from Kansas. Little town south of Manhattan. My dad was a professor at Kansas State. Astrophysics. We moved there when I was really little. My mom needed to be near Fort Riley. So we settled in Junction City. Dad commuted to the University in Manhattan. It was a small price, but dad loved the open skies at night. I miss it. The stars, you could just lay in the yard and watch them for hours. We moved back to New York after my parents split. Dad wanted to teach at Culver, so he moved to Virginia. And I was stuck traveling in between.”

Bucky made a distressed sigh sound, and Jane nodded and chuckled. “It was ok though. I kind of got the best of both worlds. Mom and dad felt extremely guilty, and spared no expense in my education. I graduated high school when I was twelve,” she continues as he lets out a whistle, “and never looked back.”

“How’d you end up here,” he takes a bite into his sandwich, then tries to break off a piece and hand it to her. She shook her head no and again there’s that grin, which she eventually gives in to.

“That’s a long story, one in which I had no morphine.” She took the bite, and grinned. It wasn’t bad.

He lets out a harsh laugh, and wipes at his eyes. “Ok. You don’t have to tell me.”

“What about you?”

“I was born in Brooklyn. At least I think I was. I grew up there. With Steve. I’m older. Don’t let him tell you otherwise. Not much else. We grew up in the Great Depression, money was scarce. Full meals were rare. And Steve was always sick. He spent most of his getting into fights. I spent most of mine getting him out of them.  Enlisted in the army, and here we are.”

“I heard you were a sniper.”

“You heard correct,” he grins, and wipes at his mouth after taking a drink.

“How’d you get so good with a gun?”

“I would say it was practice. I dunno, doll. When someone has your guy in the crosshairs. You learn how to shoot efficient and affectively.”

“Kind of like you having Steve’s back as children.”

He smiles. “Kind of like that.”

She smiles and takes another bite of her salad, reaching down and popping a cherry tomato into her mouth. “My mom was good with a gun. She had several.”

“She _had_?”

Jane nods and sprinkles some salt on a cucumber. “One of the many points of their divorce. She got rid of them before she passed. She knew I didn’t want them, so she sold them to someone she knew would care about them. I’m thankful. Dealing with her estate was difficult enough without that.”

Bucky nods in serious contemplation. “A marksman’s weapon tends to become very personal to him. I have a favorite. Just like Clint and his bow. Sometimes it’s the only thing that will get you out alive on the battle field.”

“I didn’t think about it like that.”

He shrugs, nonchalantly. “Few do. Steve doesn’t use a gun, but he practices with one. But that Shield is pretty close to deadly, considering the blow that he can put into it. He prefers it. It's gotten all of us out of some pretty sticky situations.”

“I heard once that he punched through ten punching bags in thirty seconds.”

He leans towards her, and scandalously whispers. “It was twelve.”

Her eyes go wide and he grins. “Wow.”

“Wow indeed.”

“And do you?”

“Do I what, doll?”

“Are you able to do that?”

“Darling, I was doing that before the serum,” he shoots her a wink, then picks a tomato from her salad she’s abandoned in her amazement of his story. “Maybe not twelve,” he grins sheepishly. “But I don’t know. I haven’t tried.”

“Why,” her curiosity hasn’t gotten the best of her in she didn’t know how long. “Why haven’t you?”

“Because he punches things when he gets frustrated. I shoot things. I go out with Sam at the Avengers facility and shoot clays. The fresh air, and ammo all of combined.” He shrugs. “It’s freedom.”

She understood. Sort of, so she nods, and finishes up her drink. “Thanks for saving me from Darcy today. I love her, but I don’t know if I could’ve dealt with her antics today.”

He chuckles, “I’ve spent the better part of the year dealing with her antics for Steve and Sam. I love her too. But I get to leave when she digs her claws in. I don’t know how something that small can be something that forceful. And well,” he takes her plate, “may, I?” She nods and he slides it to her, and she’s secretly shocked, and where did those sandwiches go? “Well I figured, you were even smaller than her, and you just moved in, and didn’t need anybody forcing you into anything you didn’t want to.”

She grins and watches him finish her salad. “Well. I thank you.”

He runs a hand through his hair and smirks. “Ever been told that you have the most beautiful smile, doll?”

She blushes, and looks down at her lap, and then looks back at him. “No. I don’t believe so.”

“Well they’re idiots. Cause you do.” He shoots her another wink, then pulls her to stand with him, and escorts her out of the room.

 

Tony watches from the corner of the opposite side of the room as the duo leaves, and pulls out his phone to text Bruce. _–t- you remember how you told me I couldn’t let my overprotectiveness of the daughter that doesn’t know she’s actually my daughter, take control? Does it count if the Winter Soldier has her in his crosshairs? –s-_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fanfics with Jane/Bucky have been *crickets* lately. So I'm just going to keep writing! Let me know what you think! I'm trying to put together a collage for this story. But I'm learning that I'm just not that creative! So, as of now, I'll stick to writing.


	3. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s helped you get through this? All that they’ve done to you? What did you do?”
> 
> “I talked it out. That’s all I could do."

“I’M KICKING BARNES’ ASS!”

Steve was use to his girlfriends over dramatics and watched as the girl came into their apartment and throw her bags down. She was usually up to one thing or another with Bucky, and more often than not, unlike with her boyfriends, Bucky usually got the better of her.

It was something they had discussed, and something that Darcy had said was simply _not true._ But always there plain as day. The competition between his best friend, and his girlfriend was at best highly entertaining. Mostly in part because Bucky didn’t even know they were competing.

It was a relief to Steve and Sam that Bucky was now fitting into the group. When they brought him to the tower over a year ago, he was a loner. He struggled with the guilt of remembering everything and nothing at the same time. That guilt led to many intense conversations between the three of them. Sam was adamant and Steve agreed that whatever he had done, all of it was instinct of survival. He had to bid Hydra’s commands or else he would die.

That didn’t stop the guilt from sometimes eating him alive. He would go days without speaking to anyone, almost robotic in a way, and when someone finally got through to him, he could cry for hours.

That someone was usually Darcy.

Steve would forever be relieved that Darcy didn’t have a judgmental bone in her body, and when she was informed before they brought him here, her anger at the situation was front and center, and she ended up being Bucky’s personal body guard. If anyone so much as looked at him the wrong way they got a lashing from the five foot three, blue eyed bombshell that Steve and Sam fell in love with at first site.

That was before he got better.

After, when his guilt was abated, and his sense of humor and personality back intact, Bucky and Darcy became like brother and sister. Always baiting the other into picking up a fight, just because they could.

_“You’re wearing that to the party? Geez. I feel bad for you ,doll.”_

_“I feel bad for you to, boo. You’re stuck wearing your face.”_

They’d all laugh in the end and hug it out.

That was just how Darcy and Bucky worked.

So when she came in, threatening a thorough ass kicking, he knew it had to be one of two things. Number one, Bucky had somehow thwarted Darcy in some scheme, some way or another. Number two, he had beaten her at poker… _again._

Steve chuckled. Darcy had a great poker face, which is why he refused to play her anymore. Sam too. They weren’t stupid. But Bucky, even with their warnings, had the absolute best poker face. While they fought years of conditioning with him on a daily basis. This one was sticking. He was able to not show any emotion. Control his breathing. He didn’t have a nervous tick to tell when he was bluffing, and he could out right destroy Darcy at cards in two minutes flat. The competition that started between them had lasted almost six months, and Darcy hasn’t beaten him once.

_Of course she didn’t like that._

And since there wasn’t a portion of the tower that was on fire that he heard of, he could only assume that the poker game hadn’t happened today, so it had to be the former. Which could be an array of things.

“What did he do, baby? And what do you want for supper?” That was Sam. Steve hadn’t heard him enter, but was relieved he had. Sometimes when Darcy got in one of her ‘moods,’ Sam was better at being analytical with her, whereas Steve just wanted to give her the world.

They watched her sit down in a huff and kick her boots off, muttering about “ _freaking scientists who can’t manage themselves, and freaking assassins who are always one step ahead of me.”_

He watched Sam move in front of her and crouch down. “Darce!”

Her blue eyes cleared and she stared at him blankly. “When did you get here?”

Sam looked back at Steve in amusement, as Steve ran a hand over his face. “I’ve been here. What’s wrong? What did Barnes do now?”

“Jane!”

Steve chokes on his drink and turns bright red.

“He _did_ Jane?”

“No! Not like _that!_ Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Steve walks over to them. “Then what did you mean, Darce?” He sits down next to her, and runs a hand through her ponytail.

She sighs dramatically, and they both feel an over the top story coming along, so they brace themselves for the dramatics.

“Well…” *she grabs at the water bottle in Sam’s hands and continues. “I was just minding my own business on the research floor. You know, where all the smarties are? And well, my first order of the day was to get something down Stark’s gullet, because he didn’t even go to sleep after the party last night. And we all know what happens when Stark doesn’t function. He gets to be a creative little shit-tard, and creates drones that want to take over the world. Like it’s not even fair. He has all the money and is a creative genius?” She sighs and continues. “Anyway. So I’m blaring music that I know he doesn’t like to get him out of his lab. To go down to eat, and he does, so yay! Score one for Darcy!

Sam moves to sit on the table in front of them, as he settles in for her story, while exchanging amused glances with Steve and she continues. “Banner is just as bad. He forgets about everything and just goes into his own little world when he’s ‘Sciencing!’. So he was next on my list, followed by Cho, Selvig, and Allan. Jane was last because I wanted to talk to her, and I knew she’d be the easiest. All you have to do is wave a cup of coffee in front of her and she’ll follow! That’s it! So here I am, working my ass off to get all these smarties fed and watered, and one by one they’re complying. So I’m like what?! I’m five for six. Now to the easiest one and my bestie Dr. Jane Foster, right?”

“Right,” the men reply amused.”

“WRONG! I’m on my way to her lab, and Barnes is escorting her back from the food court already having fed and watered her! So of course she was ready for her ‘S _cience!’_ again!”

“So he took her to lunch,” Steve takes a drink from his bottle of water. “That’s not so bad.”

“Normally I agree with you, Steven. It’s not! But usually, from before, you fed her, you watered her. You got the hell away from her, unless you wanted to be a part of the chaos that is Dr. Jane Foster’s work space. She’ll tear you apart if you interrupt her when it’s not needed! So I let it go. I went and got lunch myself, and when I came back, I checked in on her again, and she was _Sciencing!_ , but Bucky was there with her! Asking her questions and getting answers, IN FULL SENTENCES! She talked to him in full sentences! Did you know she lived in Kansas?! I didn’t! Did you know that her mom was British? I didn’t either! He has known her for two days, and already knows more about her than I do!”

Steve shakes his head and stares at Sam who frowns at Darcy. “Darce, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Jane has never talked to me like that. She’s like a closed book. She’s a good listener though. You can talk to her about anything, as long as she’s not in the lab! But there he was, in her lab. _Touching_ her equipment, and she didn’t even care!”

“Darcy, do you think that this has anything to do with the fact that you’re being overprotective of her, because you were always rooting for her and Thor stay together?” Sam had his full attention on her now, in his serious counselor mode. He knew the history of Thor, Jane, and Darcy, and he and Steve had worried about their girlfriend, secretly romanticizing the relationship between the Thunder God and her best friend. ‘ _The perfect Cinderella story’_ , she had said.

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“Well,” Sam stands and two pairs of blue eyes follow him as he goes and grabs himself a bottle of water, since Darcy stole his. “Last night when Bucky said that he was ‘in love,’ with Jane, you kind of made sure he had next to no time with her at the party. Now he introduced himself with Steve when we were dancing, but after that you kind of went and took her away. Darcy we don’t know what happened between her and Thor, ok. But we do know that they aren’t together. And we also know that she doesn’t seem to be pining for him. Regardless of how changed she is, she has to move on. If she feels safe with Bucky, that’s a good thing.”

“How is that a good thing? She’s only known him for two days. She’s known me forever!”

He shakes his head, and Steve wonders if it’s out of frustration. “It’s a good thing, because that means that there’s something in the way that he communicates with her, that she is comfortable with. That also means that Bucky gets to communicate with a friend that’s outside his inner circle, which you can’t deny he’s needed.”

She nods, her face serious once again as she thinks it through. “Jane has been through so much, Sam. And Thor has been there to see her through it. Me too. When she left last year,that was really hard. But I knew she had Thor to lean on. I do trust Bucky. But he’s fragile too.”

This time Steve steps in. “He’s not fragile anymore Darcy. You know this. He’s his own man, with his own mind. And we can’t make his decisions for him. What Hydra did to him, can you imagine what it must of felt like, having your every move measured and calculated. Last night, I was with him while he introduced himself to Jane. Jane’s too nice to push anyone away. She has the composure of a queen in the most extreme situations. I’ve seen the tapes of the Greenwich incident. They talked for a few minutes, and it reminded me of the old Bucky. The confident one. He had the biggest smile. Then you came and dragged her off, and it kind of deflated him.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t Darcy. But here’s the thing. You’re in a relationship now. You have your own life. Us three, we kind of do our own thing. How long do you think Bucky is going to feel comfortable like this without feeling like an outsider, or a third wheel? I’m betting he kind of already does.”

“Which means his mind is next to fully healed, because he’s ready for that next step to a human relationships. He’s got friends, and now he’s feeling a little left out, you know. He wants to go on dates, and look at him, he’s not bad to look at. And girls tend to throw themselves at him. But he’s trusting his judgement and instinct. The fact that he likes Jane, which he didn’t even know you knew her. May just mean that he really likes her. And we need to support him _and_ her, if that’s something they decide to pursue in the future.”

Steve nods at his boyfriend in agreement. “And it does only sound like they’re talking, Darce. That’s normal. That’s what we did, isn’t it? If it turns into something more than that’d be great. We’re all in this circle anyway. And Jane knows how to handle super human beings, apparently. I mean, look at the way she handled Thor. And he’s more _super_ powered than the rest of us. I can’t look at this like it’s a bad thing, Darcy, I’m sorry I can’t. It’s a relief to see my best friend happy for once.”

She rubs at her eyes, and lets out a sigh that seems to release all her frustrations. “I just can’t picture her with anyone but Thor. She was so stuck on him the last time I saw them. That was over a year ago, I know. But the only one that seems to know anything about that is Tony Stark and he’s not budging. It’s just kind of difficult for me to imagine them being actually ‘over’. I mean. Jane’s not the type to lead anyone one. She doesn’t have the heart for that. But they’ve been so off again- on again.” Darcy shakes her head. “And if that were the case. If this were just an actual off again, stage. Where would that leave Bucky?”

Steve frowns and bites his lip. “The thing is, right now, they’re just talking, ok sweetheart. We don’t need to look so far into it, yet. But the thing is. You even said so yourself. Jane is a high-class doll. She won’t hurt him, because if she’s talking to him like that, you can be sure that he’s talking back. Let’s let them control where it goes, ok?”

She nods and gives them both a hug. “Alright, dinner then. Whose turn is it to cook?”

Steve and Sam grin at each other then look back at her. “Yours.”

She sighs. “I figured. Chinese take-out, it is then.”

The men fall back into the sofa and groan. “Not again.”

 

Bucky was whistling as he walked into the gym to spar with Steve three days later, and Steve couldn’t help but tease him about it. Jerk never whistled.

“Haven’t seen you in a bit, Buck. Where ya been?”

Bucky grins, as he attaches his weapons to his body that he’s going to use in the spar, apparently knives were included today, and secretly Steve is amazed. For all the time that he’s known Bucky, and what he was, the amount of weapons Bucky could carry on his body at one time was a testament to what a creative little shit he was.

“Been busy. Been getting my degree in Science. Stark has a wonderland up there.”

Steve nods. “You’ve always been interested in that. Remember that night at the Stark expo? The flying car?”

Bucky’s grin is wide across his face. “Jane said that someone in SHIELD actually had one. But he’s passed away now. Her grandma told her.”

Wait? What? Jane’s grandmother was in SHIELD. “What was her name?”

“Dunno? Didn’t ask. If she wanted me to know, she’d have told me. Don’t you think?”

This bit of news was soon put on the back burner because the bell had rang, and spectators filled the stands. The fight in the street in Washington D.C. was legendary, because Bucky Barnes was the first to go toe to toe with Captain America, and actually leave unscathed. It took three people to beat the Winter Soldier that day, and he had them on the ropes.

Now whenever they had a sparring match, which was becoming more frequent, because they were the only two who could hit each other in a no holds bar match, and Bucky’s conditioning was broke enough that he was able to stop if things got too intense. The spectators filled the stands to see the show, work on form, and hopefully come away with some moves.

Most of the people in the stands were Stark Industries agents. People who deployed every day to fight anyone who wanted to wrong the Avengers and their associates.

Some of them were scientists, attempting to calculate the speed and velocity that the two soldiers could move and throw punches in.

A few percentage were the Avengers themselves.

And some, mostly women, were just there, in hopes that at least one, if they were lucky, both would take off their shirts.

Whatever the reason they were there, it was always promised to be a good show. And Steve and Bucky never disappointed.

The next alarm rang and the match had started. Bucky had gone on the offensive, throwing punches with his left and countering with his right. Steve went on the defensive, his shield at the ready, blocking what he could assume were bruising punches, having come fist to face with that arm more than once.

He knew that when he switched to offence, Bucky would pull the knife out, and he was no match for Bukcy with a knife. Not that he hadn’t been practicing. Bucky wasn’t pulling his punches today, but he was still in control, so he left it at that today. It was refreshing to let off steam every once in a while.

 

Tony watched the two soldiers fight, and couldn’t help but whistle when Barnes placed a well-timed kick to Cap’s face. Barnes never sparred with anyone but Cap. Logically, Cap was the safest still for him to be around, in the event that someone could trigger any of the programming those bastards had given him those seventy something years. The second reason was that he in fact had sparred with him, and that damn cyber-kinetic arm pulled the arc reactor from his suit in ten seconds.

He’d vowed that one day he would get even, but Barnes simply shrugged. He’d read the files. Most of his missions were to subdue, and take prisoners, over the years. Not kill, but to stun. Twenty four of his missions, were given to him with the orders of lethal force. Kennedy. Fury. His own parents.

He’d spent hours watching doctors tapes, of them waking him up. Thawing him out. Erasing his memories. The serum healed his brain faster than they could keep his memories from coming back. If they hadn’t, their heaviest hitter could have single handedly toppled one of the world’s deadliest terrorist organizations.

Even videos of him training a young Black Widow surfaced, though the two of them possessed no memory of their time together in the KGB.

But none of that mattered to him, or to Sam as well. What mattered were the disturbing videos of them activating the soldier. The electric currents they shot through his body, as they used a series of words, was the worst thing he’d ever seen.

And he’d seen _cold_ hell.

How do you call yourself a human being and torture someone like that for years and years. Erasing their memories. Like Stalin, erasing any part of their existence. Like they weren’t even born. Weren’t someone’s child, sibling, parent, cousin, or friend?

It took him a while to forget Barnes role in the death of his parents. But after watching those videos and one intense conversation with Sam over mind erasing, it didn’t take him long to forgive.

But now he watched with a renewed purpose, because something was definitely going on between Barnes and Jane, and he needed to figure out what. He searched the stands briefly, and found her sitting next to Banner, her head down, reading something on her tablet, as Banner marveled at the soldiers fighting skills.

If something happened, Jane sure wasn’t talking. It’s not like she would anyway. He got what happened with Thor out of her by the skin of his teeth. And only because she was in the hospital at the time.

He made the decision to bring her back without her permission. He could watch her better that way, and had Pepper draw up a contract that she could not refuse, no questions asked.

He could question Barnes on his intentions, but didn’t want to come off the wrong way. There were too many secrets he could give away, if he went about this the wrong way now, and that wouldn’t suit him at all.

 

Sam sat next to Darcy as they watched the men battle, and she chewed at her nails, as she always did during one of these matches. They were both matched, maybe Barnes had a little more power with that arm, but he knew when to pull back. So it didn’t bother her that much. It did bother her that this was Jane’s first time seeing this. After a few quick glances, Jane didn’t seem phased at all, so she was able to watch the rest of the match, even though Sam’s hand suffered the consequences.

 

 

After a shower, Bucky got dressed quickly, and made his way to Jane’s apartment which was on the floor above his, and knocked.

They’d made plans. Dinner, dancing, and maybe a walk in the park, depending on how tired they were. Darcy had invited them over for supper but he’d made plans of his own. The more time he spent with Jane, the more he wanted to get to know.

He was relieved she came to his sparring session with Steve today. One part of him had been worried because it might remind her of who he was and what he did, but her smile as she hugged him afterwards when he went to her and confirmed their plans, told him it did nothing of the sort.

She was much like Darcy, but way quieter. But where Darcy’s mind was more frenzied, jumping from topic to topic, ran on pure emotion, Jane was more analytical, figuring things out step by step. And he loved it. It made his heart beat fast.

This girl was crazy smart in a way that made no sense to him. Yet when she talked with him it all made sense.

She loved talking about her family in a way that made him wistful and miss his. She asked about his great niece who was still living in Brooklyn and made a few visits to the tower a month to see her uncle. And he would ask her about her family. Both her parents were gone, her father was killed during Banner’s incident at the university, and her mother passed away ten months ago. She was British/American like her grandmother, who sounded vaguely familiar, like someone he would know, but he never could guess.

Her mom worked for the government, and travelled a lot when she was in college. She got her start in the military, like her own mother before her. It left Jane unsettled, and swearing to never join herself.

It pleased him that Jane, though she didn’t have a gun of her own, and had a general distaste of them, knew how to assemble and load even the toughest of machines. She learnt to shoot from her second cousin who worked for the CIA.

Her entire family was filled with smart, hardworking women, and she was no exception. She mentioned that she’d been spending a lot of time with Tony, trying to see how this engineering thing worked.

_Like she actually needed training?_

When her father had passed, that’s when Selvig had stepped in, but even his background was full of aristocracy.

Thor was only the icing on the cake. And she didn’t like to talk about him.

She’d had a miscarriage, which was all he could get out of her. And she felt stupid for feeling so low about herself, when she wasn’t’ even sure she wanted the baby. He spent the better part of an hour telling her she wasn’t, but he was pretty sure it would take a lot more convincing than that.

“The thing is. I’ve spent most of my life wanting to be the best at my career. And now that I’ve accomplished that, I’m feeling a little empty, you know. Like now, that doesn’t matter. Because now I’m almost thirty, and what else do I have to show for it? I keep thinking that yeah, I probably wouldn’t have been a good mother, but I would’ve risen to the occasion and learned, right? Just like figuring out a new equations for work. And then I think, well an equation is a really bad thing to compare a kid to, so maybe God did a good thing for taking my baby from me. And then I feel guilty about thinking that all over again.”

“That’s a tough cycle to break, baby-doll.”

“What’s helped you get through this? All that they’ve done to you? What did you do?”

"I talked it out. That's all I could do. Any memory, any nightmare. Sam and Steve and Darcy were always there, even sometimes at three in the morning. When I was brought to the tower, I lived with them in their spare room, I think until I was fully functioning again. Do I still feel guilty? Hell yeah. I took human lives. I’m not God. They weren’t mine to take. But I also know, that if they were in my situation, they’d probably done the same thing. I’m not condoning my sins. I know I’ll answer to that when I die. I can only live now,” he shrugs as he takes a sip of his beer. “And hope that tomorrow I’ll see another day to beg forgiveness.”

That seemed to settle her, and when she looked in his eyes he saw sorry. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, James. That’s a terrible way to live.”

He smiled. “It’s a good way not to die, though.”  


They spent the rest of their time a dinner, talking about the less heavy stuff, he still had questions about her family, and he convinced her to go ahead and order a steak, when she wanted to settle for a salad. He made fun of her and her potential ‘veganism’. _“You wouldn’t have survived the depression, doll. It was bologna everything.”_ And she’d laughed in agreement.

And while she couldn’t finish the huge fillet that was put in front of her, she did her best, though, and he finished it for her. There was so much about him that flared her scientific curiosity. The arm, the bottomless stomach. But there was a lot more about him that flared her interest in him as James, the man. Like the way he’d bite his lip when he was being smart, just bating her to take him on. Or the way he’d run his hands through his hair, a habit to keep it off his face. Or the way that he could just stare at her and make her feel like the prettiest girl in the room.

And when he asked her to dance, she’d tried to resist. She really had.

“James, I can’t dance.”

His hand was in her face, as he stared down at her expectantly. “I’ll teach you, come on.”

He was so damn earnest that she really couldn’t deny him anything. So she let him pull her up out of her chair, and lead her to the middle of the floor, where his hand at the middle of her back caused her to tremble slightly, as he took her right hand with his left. He most of felt it because he pulled back and looked down at her.

“You cold, sweetheart?”

“No,” she bit her lip. “Just nervous.”

His deep chuckle vibrated through his body, and she felt warm. “I’ll lead. Don’t worry. You got this.”

And she did. He led her through a couple of faster paced dances, twirling her to the right, spinning her to the left. His eyes, bright blue with exhilaration. Then a slow song had come on, and he pulled her close, allowing her to feel his heartbeat beneath her palm. It was racing. “You nervous?” She had to grin as he smiled cheekily down at her.

“Never met a dame before, that got me this dizzy,” was his only reply, before pulling her back in. He seemed to hum in content, so she laid her head back down on his chest and listened to his heart beat pull her in.

 

 

It was one a.m. and the bar was about to close when, James led her back to the tower and up to her apartment, stopping her at the door. He reached forward and pushed a lock of hair from her face, his lingering at the side, and his wearing his trademark smile, that seemed intimate to her now for some reason. “I really want to say ‘I had a good time tonight,’ but that’s what I hear people say in all those movies Darcy’s made me watch.”

Jane burst out laughing, and understands his pain. There was no room for cheesy, cliché lines here. She reached forward and touched his cheek. “I understand. I did have fun. I like getting to know you.”

He nods, “Likewise baby-doll. Can I see you again tomorrow?”

She bites her lip and grins. “I’d like that.”

He leans forward and it looks like he’s about to kiss her, but she guesses he decides against it, and she can’t tell if she’s relieved or hurt. He takes her hand instead and lifts it to his lips. “I’ll bring you breakfast, since you can’t remember to feed yourself right.” He winks at her, teasing. “I’ll count the hours.”

He kisses her other hand, then with a smile he’s on his way back to the elevator. She watches him leave before unlocking the door, and entering her apartment, and turning on the lights, and jumps at the familiar voice.

“Janessa Elizabeth Margaret Foster. Sergeant Barnes is a young man, who has been through a lot, and seems to really like you. If you lead him on, I will get my paddle and lead you out to the woodshed. Am I clear?”

“Grandma? How did you even get in her?!”

Her grandmother turns in her chair. “Like you are even surprised.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of playing fast and loose with Jane's background here. I hope that's ok. I just wanted to delve into Jane, the human being who loves science. Not Jane the scientist that is a human. 
> 
> I also tend to give her the name Janessa, where Jane would kind of be like a nickname to her. I don't know why. It just sort of 'types' out that way. 
> 
> A lot of revelations on the way. It's gone from ten chapters to twelve already. I'm just not sure how far I should push this. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this head cannon.


	4. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me you care for me.”
> 
> “James, you know I do, but-“
> 
> “Do you love me?”

The call came at the perfect time for Jane this morning, in the middle of a reoccurring nightmare she just couldn’t seem to shake.

_The little boy was falling into a pit of darkness, screaming for her. Screaming for his mother to save him. And she’d reached for him, to try and pull him to her with all she had. Then all of the sudden an explosion, and fire and light and chaos. And he was gone._

She’d screamed herself awake. Then Tony’s call had come. A meeting was scheduled at nine o’clock. Top floor. She figured out herself to dress nice. If the meeting was on the top floor, Pepper was bound to be there, and well, Pepper knew how to dress to impress.

So as much as she wanted to pull on a pair of jeans, and an over-sized shirt, she knew she couldn’t do that. It wasn’t worth the embarrassment.

Now she wished that she’d stayed in bed.

They wanted her work.  _Of course they did._ But only the work specifically to do with the _bridge._ It wasn’t like she could be shocked. She _really, really,_ wasn’t at this point. She’d been used so many times by this organization to get to Thor that she wasn’t even hurt by it anymore. She knew she had smarts, and she knew she could handle these guys. And she’d probably spend the rest of her life out-witting them.

Her grandmother taught her well. As did her mother. Her mother handled S.H.I.E.L.D. with ease. She could to. And well, if she couldn’t. She always had Tony to back her up. And he was doing a damn good job of it now.

“No can do, Agent Zombie.” Of course Phil Coulson was alive, because, well, people just didn’t stay dead anymore. Fury, Coulson, _Loki._

“Dr. Foster’s work was legally funded through Culver University, through grants. As far as the contract’s concerned, they have what they needed, and she is no longer employed there. She is a Nobel winner, and their alumni, they’re settled.” Pepper took a sip of her water and continued. “Stark Industries has been trying to get Dr. Foster to come and research for us for years, obviously even more after the events in New York, but legally, per contract, the research she was conducting was Culver University’s, and you cannot scare them into giving them what you want. It isn’t ethical, and they won’t budge. In her contract, we added a level of protection, should a case arise, that any work not claimed by the University’s protection, _would_ be protected by Stark Industries. This is the research she funded herself. Anything not funded by herself or the University,” she turned the page, “was funded by the British Royal Society, and I don’t think you want a war on your hands, Gentleman. We are in agreement, that Dr. Foster is a brilliant mind in our generation, and that her work should be _discussed._ However, we will not let actual research, actual work that could possibly bring more harm than good, into the general population. Need I remind you of the Tesseract? Now you and I can discuss the logistics of this, but even the American Government has honored her wishes. I doubt any backing will come from the senate arms committee.”

Tony speaks up, flipping a pin, under Pepper’s disapproving eye, and Jane giggles under her breath. “Point is Agent Zombie. The research is now owned by my company, and we cannot, and will not be budged. There is a reason why I stopped making nuclear weapons, and the bridge could be considered just that. The point is. We’ve seen hell. And we’re not about to unleash it on this earth.”

Pepper raised a perfectly arched brow, “Understood?”

Fury and Coulson mumbled a few things, before swearing they’d be back, before grabbing cases and leaving.

And that was it.

She briefly checked her messages, getting one from James.

_Iced caramel soy macchiato for the tired Dr., Miss? –B_

_Ten minutes. Rooftop garden? Bring cookies? –J_

_You got it! –B_

Jane didn’t know what she felt about Bucky. She liked him. But they’d been taking it slow. Those two kisses on her hands the only real affection that they’ve shown. It was easy to spend hours talking to him, getting lost in his eyes, as he smiled at him.

He was smart. Really smart. And he picked up things easily. He mentioned that he loved going to various sciences expos, and even went to one the night before he deployed out. He was imaginative, and had a photographic memory, which he guesses was enhanced by the serum. No wonder Hydra had to knock him down every step they got.

They spent hours in her lab, just studying various equations Tony would give her that day. He even helped her develop an app, for the Starkphone, Google Play, and Apple,that could tell you various constellations as you held your phone up with the app on to the night sky. The app could lead you on various excursions at night, and during the day. The rotation of planets around the earth. The phones gps could pin point where you were, and tell you in which direction to follow.

Bucky had been using it ever since, becoming even more interested in the sky at night much to Darcy’s dismay. She missed her wing-man she’d said. And since she’d spent years with her eye to the sky with Jane, she didn’t want to have to do that anymore. But Bucky is as convincing as he was charming, and and the whole group of them, including Steve, Sam, and herself went on a night adventure that led them to Brooklyn. And Darcy playing ‘ _The Boys Are Back In Town,’_ the whole night long.

Steve hadn’t liked that very much.

Bucky couldn’t stop laughing.

If that was considered a date, it was the most romantic one of her life, and there were three extra people with them! He ended up walking with his arm around her shoulder, and she ended up wearing his jacket for extra warmth.

Jane made her way up to the garden, with a little more oomph in her step then her journey to the meeting earlier. The Maria Stark memory garden, was beautiful, and, Stark said, featured a select variety of the actual flowers she kept in her garden at the Mansion in upstate New York. It was peaceful, much as she was described by Jane’s own grandmother, and Tony himself. And only a few people were allowed up there to enjoy the view, and clear their mind.

A couple times she’d found Tony up here. And some of their talks when they were up here together were some of the most personal they’d ever had. He told her that he could find clarity in a place that reminded him of the calm that his mother was.

She had told him, that she found the most solace up here at night. Being surrounded by so much calm and beauty was wonderful for the psyche.

James was waiting for her when she got there, and she wasn’t surprised any more. He was known to take the stairs because he was ‘faster than the elevator.’ Which she would deny, but Stark Tower had ninety three floors, and five elevators, that had to take over five hundred employees, and occupants to a different part of the tower every day.

He handed her, her coffee and offered her his arm. A sign that he wanted to walk around while they talked. And that was ok with her. The day was beautiful. Barely humid, and not hot enough to make them sweat. She loved the fall and everything about it.

Her heels today made her a little taller, but she still couldn’t compare in height to him. Though she felt a little more sophisticated and ‘on his level,’ because he usually liked to dress nice. Jeans were his staple and he filled them out nicely. She’d told him that, then blushed the rest of the night. But he always paired the denim with a nice shirt and shoes. And she always felt under dressed.

They spent their time in the garden as a time to catch up. He’d been on some mission yesterday, and they hadn’t seen the other. And she was briefly aware that she’d missed him terribly. Something that she would disclose to no one. Not even Darcy.

In a way, their little ‘date,’ ended too soon. But promises of seeing each other at Darcy, Sam, and Steve’s game night, made it a little easier for her to say goodbye.

 

 

Bucky was at his wits end. No dame had ever managed to frustrate him the way Jane had. No dame had ever been able to draw him in as she had. And here they were, two months into this thing that they had going on between them, and not even an actual mouth to mouth kiss was had.

He was so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing with her. His heart raced whenever she was near. His palms became sweaty, so he never could hold her hand. He didn’t want her to figure him out. Especially if she wasn’t feeling the way that he was.

And if she was, why the hell hasn’t she given him something. A sign that she’d like more? That she liked him more than a friend? They talked every day, sure. But that was beginning to not be enough for him, and he took up Steve’s habit of punching through punching bags to release his frustration. One day he got through fourteen bags before Steve pulled him away for a run.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t a patient man, he in-fact was. Darcy had said that Jane didn’t see the obvious well, and well, he was being about as obvious as it gets.

He couldn’t, could NOT blame her. From the little details she could gather from her about her last relationship, it had not ended well.

And that frustrated him too. She had her secrets as much as anyone. But couldn’t she trust him to at least share some things with him that were important to her?

He wanted something with her that he’d seen his pa have with his ma, and he was determined to get it. He just had to push a little more.

Maybe she could see the sense of them actually being together, because in his heart, she was already his.

 

_Rules to Darcy Lewis’ Game Night, written by Darcy Lewis_

  1. _No punching, kicking, shooting, tasing, pepper spraying, or vehicular manslaughter of any kind._
  2. _If you didn’t bring booze, you were not allowed to be on the premises until you went to the liquor store, conveniently located on the ground level floor, and bought some._
  3. _Darcy Lewis is not in charge of cooking on her namesake game nights. Pizza and other typical bar/sports food is also not permitted. Get creative with your menu choices._
  4. _James Buchanan Barnes is not allowed near any game of poker indefinitely._
  5. _Should anyone break any of these rules, they should and will be subject to intense public humiliation at the groups choosing._



_Steve Rogers Rules to Darcy Lewis’ Game Night_

  1. _Do not under any circumstances let Darcy Lewis near a stove, a candle, a lighter, the fire place, or a bunt during the game night to prevent fire rage._



_Sam Rogers Rules to Darcy Lewis’ Game Night_

  1. _How the fuck is this my life?_



It was decided by straws who would pick the game that night, and Jane had the luck of the draw. With some harassing from James and Steve she picked Monopoly. Mainly because it was long, and if she got less sleep, that would be less time for her nightmare to actually occur.

Jane sat on Bucky’s lap to make room for Tony that night, and the game was off. The players went around the board once before the actual buying of properties could commence. When Darcy had her second roll of the game, she landed on a Chance card.

“ _Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.”_ And she threw the card down! “I always get this card!”

The table just laughed and continued on, ignoring the young woman’s protests at not being able to roll doubles to get out of jail. She finally paid the fifty dollars, and landed on the electric company, which Tony had already bought. “Damnit! I thought you were all about ‘clean energy,’ Stark!

“Seventy dollars. Pay up, Wrangler.”

Bucky made his fortune on the rail roads, and owning the entire green section. Steve and Sam collected the pink, and Brown selections. Darcy managed to get all of the light blue. Tony flipped when Jane beat him to the royal blue and yellow sections, taking the red and orange to himself.

He flipped out even more when he realized that Bucky and Jane had combined their bank roll to add even more hotels to the properties, on the fourth side of the board, banking Sam and Steve into bankruptcy. They allowed Darcy to by their properties, but the power players weren’t nearly done, sending her into a fit of rage when she had to split her properties equally with Tony, and J named Team.

They all watched in amusement as Jane and James killed the billionaire at his own game, and left in a huff.

They all decided that they didn’t want to sleep, just yet, and Jane was relieved. They ended up playing Never Have I Ever.

Darcy explained the rules of the game. “You say something you have never done, and make it good Steve.” She shoots a glare to her boyfriend who blushes. “And if people in the circle have done it, the respective person takes a drink. Like for instance,” She looked at the petite scientist, and began. “Never have I ever been handcuffed to a bed.”

Jane blushed and took a sip, and Sam does too. Darcy crows in delight. “No way! Sammy?!”

“It was once! She was adventurous!”

Steve gave his boyfriend’s shoulder a pat and a smile. “Something to work up to, then.”

“Oh god,” Jane blushed bright red, because of course it’s Captain America and went next, targeting Darcy.  “Never have I ever had phone sex with my boyfriend.”

“I quit,” Darcy stands and puts her glass down. “Oo look! Pretty stars!” The group laughs and the game dissipates.

The guys sit in for a game of Gin, and the girls go out to the balcony for ‘girl talk,’ as Darcy calls it.

“So what’s happened between you and Bucky?”

“James? Nothing. Why?”

“Exactly. You’ve been seeing each other for what? Two months?”

“It hasn’t been like that.”

“Then what’s it been like. Because that man looks at you with stars in his eyes. He’s so moony for you, he follows your every move.”

Jane sighs and looks inside at the guys, briefly catching James’ slate eyes watching her before turning back to his game. “It hasn’t been like that. We just hang out. We’re just friends.”

“You’re _just_ friends? Jane. The first day that man saw you he _loved_ you. Now I don’t know what’s going on with you guys, but you’re not _just_ friends. At least not to him, anyway. And I have to tell you this. I love you, Jane. You’re the sister that I never had. But if you hurt him, I will kick your ass. Don’t lead him on if you don’t feel anything. And –“

“Darcy. It’s hard.”

“I don’t know what happened between you and Thor. Personally, I’m pretty pissed off about that. But Thor is gone. And James is here. And he’s a really great guy. Everyone loves him. And he’s literally been through hell. Do. Not. Break. His. Heart.”

Jane followed the young woman back into the apartment, to say her goodbyes. She tried to ignore the hurt that clouded the eyes of the man watching her every move, and got out of their quickly, leaving the confused looks of the people behind her.

 

He’d had enough. Tonight was perfect, until it wasn’t. And he was trying so damn hard. Short of beating her with a stick, he’d tried everything in his arsenal, but the pretty scientist would not budge. And left a string of confusion behind her tonight as she left Steve’s apartment.

He excused himself shortly after, feigning a headache, and went straight to her door, knocking on it loudly, until she finally answered, and he pushed himself in.

“It’s been two months. Two damn months Jane, of me trying to do everything to show you that I like you. And it’s been two months of you ignoring my every move! I’m kind of on a limb here. I’m torn between wanting to hold you and strangle you because you’re so oblivious to the world around you, that you can’t see what’s right in front of you! I get that you’ve been hurt, and doll, I’m so fucking angry at that. But I can’t sit back here, now, and pretend things are alright between us, when it’s not.”

He takes a step to her when she remains silent, and pushes a hand into her hair. “I can’t pretend that I don’t see you as the most beautiful girl in the world, because you’ve slowly become _my_ world Jane. And I feel like each day that I gain you and lose you at the same time. It kills me that you can’t trust me enough to let me in. And I’ve tried so damn hard to prove that I’m not going anywhere! You think I can’t hear you scream out at nights? I know about the nightmares, Jane. When were _you_ going to tell me about them?

She stares at him in stunned disbelief. “What? How-“

“We can thank Artim Zola for that. That’s not the point. What’s it going to take for you to believe in me? Believe that I can handle this, _please_?” He reaches down and grabs her hands in his, caressing tiny circles into the tops. “Because, I know, that I can help get you through this. I just need you to know that too. Please, _please_ let me help.”

“James you shouldn’t have to worry about my problems.”

“But I _want_ to. Anything you have on your mind. Anything you need to get off your chest. Anything at all. I’m a really good listener.” He moves a finger to her cheek. “I can prove it to you, if you’d only give me a chance.”

“But James-“

“No buts. Say you trust me.”

“I do but-“

“Tell me you care for me.”

“James, you know I do, but-“

“Do you love me?”

“James-“ she found her being cut off by a soft pair of lips, as his hands moved from her face to down around her waist, and he pulled her closer to him, and she couldn’t help but to push her hands into his hair, and give in as the kiss slowly consumed her body. “James-“

“Shh, sweetheart. Just feel right now, ok? Let me get you through this. You haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. Let me help, ok?”

At her nod, he’s lifting her off her feet, and kicking off his shoes, and carrying her back to her bedroom. He deposits her gently onto her bed, and stands back and stares at her for a few minutes before removing his shirt and crawling over her.

He was all hard, and muscled, and gorgeous. It was hard to _not_ run her fingers over the rigged planes of his chest, and when she did, his soft moan in her ear, as he was kissing up her neck, mumbling incoherently, let her know she did something right.

Briefly his hand came to rest atop her breast, then moved down and grabbed a hand, bringing it up, over her head, as he brought his lips to hers once again.

And when did her body start betraying her like this? His mouth was the death of her, as it kissed a trail down her neck to her collar bone and chest, leaving her skin a hot mess of tingles, as he whispered in her ear. “I love you, baby. I have since the day I met you.” She whimpers in response.

He helps her to sit up, so he can pull her shirt off over her head, and lays her back down gently, but not before undoing the hook at the back of her bra, and surprising her by pulling it off. He only smirked down at her in return, and she almost _pants?_ “Never done this with the lights on.”

“Shame. Cause you’re damn beautiful.” And if it’s at all possible, her body heats up more.  “Tell me if we need to stop, ok?”

She nods, and works her fingers into his hair once more, bringing him to her in renewed passion, her legs wrapped around his jean clad waist, and he gives in and presses into her a little, to her relief and they both let out a soft groan then laughter.

She starts to undo his belt, and nearly squeals when she’s victorious, and unbuttons his pants. “Pants. Off. Now.” And she knew she was really gone on this man. She’d already started talking in one words sentences.

Never one to disappoint her, he complied, but not before sliding her jeans off of her. Staring at her as he stood. “I haven’t been-“He runs a hand through his hair in _frustration?_ ’Not in a long time, doll.” And she understood. Maybe she just understood him. She reached out her hand, waiting for him, and pulled him back on top of her. There was no need for insecurities here. She was sure they both had them. But the way he was making her feel. That exquisite way he looked at her, left her wanting nothing but him.

She moaned as cool metal finger slid down her abdomen, towards her panties. Panted as he tore them off her, with a cheesy smirk.

“I liked those!”

“I did too. They were great. In my way though.”

And as much as she’d thought about ripping his boxers off, he beat her to the punch. Sliding them off with ease, before he crawled over her again. And of course he was perfect. She knew he would be.

And when he finally slid into her, she let out a sigh she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Relief flushed through her instantly, and it reminded her of _home._

He kept his pace slow as she adjusted around him, staring into her eyes as she took him in, letting out the occasional swear word when she would rise to meet him at just the right time.

And when she fell apart in his arms, he soon followed, and he pulled her to him tightly, staying connected with her, telling her he loved her and to go to sleep.

And she did as he told Friday to turn out the light.

Heartbeat. Tight. Safe.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have to be honest. This chapter was going to be a few chapters away. But I got Bucky feels and moved it. which means, that other events got pushed back, which means that, that's at least another two more chapters. 
> 
> Thanks for all the 'love!' I enjoy reading your comments and talking to you! Some of you have brought up some serious conversations about this Jane, which I'm exploring! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	5. Intelligiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re late, Sergeant Barnes.”
> 
> She could still make him stand at attention.

“Sir we have a problem. Looking into Dr. Jane Foster’s record, is bringing up more landmines then we’d expect. Of course there’s Stark. He has his blockade up. But it’s more than that.”

Fury was having a rough week. And his patience was growing thin. The Doctor was a brilliant mind, and he’d tried, and failed so many times to bring her in, this was the final straw. Of course this was America, and she had her choice, but damnit! The power that bridge could supply would put America and the world, back in the galaxies trading system, in a _BIG_ way. And he wanted to be the lead in that.

S.H.I.E.L.D. had fallen apart. All the fail safe’s that Peggy Carter and Howard Stark were stripped to the core by Captain America and Carter’s very own niece, were gone. Was it necessary? Hell yeah. But everything he’d worked for was gone with that. And that was a big deal as well.

He turned in his chair as he watched Hill continue.

“Thing is, Sir. Anywhere we’ve looked, there is an abundance, of absolutely no information. Tax records are sealed. School records are difficult to get our hands on anyway, but any school she’s been to in Kansas, New York, or even Culver, any personal information was given to them in a need to know basis, and nothing is written down. Medical records, she’s a healthy human being, barring a miscarriage last year, and that was sealed up so quickly, I only heard about it from Pepper.”

“What about bank records? Stark says she’d been funding herself for a few years.”

“Sealed. There’s nothing. I can’t access her account information. Nothing”

“Family?”

“Mother and father have both passed away. That’s where it gets interesting. Her mother was in the military, but we knew this, mostly running secret ops, for American and British armed forces. Her father was an astrophysicist, taught at Kansas State University, before they divorced then he moved to his Alma Mater at Culver. He was one of the victims of the Hulk out incident. They were both British nationals, raising their daughter in America.”

“They were British? And she’s an American citizen? That doesn’t sound right.”

“Absolutely. Complications arose when I started asking questions. Point blank, nobody is talking. The marriage was an arranged marriage, which seemed to happen inside S.H.I.E.L.D. Jane is not his biological daughter.”

“Who's her father then?”

“We don’t know. But we’re following a trail.”

“What trail? Damnit Hill! We don’t have all day!”

“Jane Foster was born in 1986, making her almost thirty years old. Her mother, we still don’t have a name, and father, Dr. John Foster, were both there, but they weren’t alone. A flighty nurse said there was another guy there that day that she’d recognized from newspaper clippings so she thought it was important.”

“Who?”

“Howard Stark.”

_Well shit._ “How much you want to bet, Tony Stark knows something about this.”

“That’s a bet that I’d lose for sure, boss. But it’s not just that. Apart from Stark’s blockade, which seems situationally normal. She was born in England, to English nationals. She has an English birth certificate and an American birth certificate. One issued by St. Mary’s, obviously where she was born. The other issued by the University's Hospital in New York, both same dates, both with Doctor John Foster’s name. The mother’s name? An alias.”

“What the actual fuck?”

She nods, “Exactly. It gets even trickier. Protections have been installed by the British Royal Family over any information leaks.”

“Her mom was a royal?”

“I think we’re dealing with a modern day _Where’s Waldo;_ The Royal Edition.”

“Son of a….Fuck!”

 

 

_‘Sir. I’m afraid someone is trying to break down the firewalls installed to cover Jane Foster’s family records.”_

“Trojan horse those bastards, Friday. And let me know when it’s done. Maybe get Wrangler to help. She’s good at hacking.”

_“Yes sir.”_

Skye didn’t want to be cocky, she was the best there was. Taking down Stark’s system would be easy. But… _maybe._ Not so easy, because they’d sent something to her computer that had literally fried the circuit, causing her to let out a string of curse words that had May even raising a brow in her direction.

So she’d moved to another computer. But this time, something else was thwarting her. Stark’s A.I. was smart, but this was human, somehow, hacking into _her own files,_ at seemingly super human speed, and bringing down her own firewalls, exposing anything and everything for Stark Industries to see about them, _all_ of them. “FUCK!”

“What?” It was Coulson, and did he ever seem frazzled? She didn’t think so, with him being the master of bullshit and all that.

“They got it. They have it all. I don’t know who or what that was, but Stark has some powerful tech, and they have all our informat-,” she stopped when she saw  her screen flashing, as her computer started to reveal the secrets to another source. “Son of a bitch! I… What?” The code she was fighting now, was coming from all the way across the pond, accessing only what was needed. She watched them go from folder to folder, scanning information, and anything she did was helpless to stop them. “Who the hell is Jane Foster, and why do so many people want information on her?! It’s going to take me weeks to figure out how the hell they broke through!”

Coulson nods at May. “Get Fury on the phone.”

 

Darcy hadn’t sweat this much since her first night with her boys, but man, this was a good kind of sweat just the same. Since working at Stark Industries, she’s only gotten to hack databases one time, and that was when the world was under the attack of Ultron. Her fingers hurt so much that day, but the glee she felt was no different than what she was feeling today.

Just as before, she didn’t ask Stark questions, she just got him the expected results. From what she could tell, someone wanted Jane’s information, and while she didn’t understand why, well, Jane was her best friend. And if Stark Industries saw fit to protect that information than she did to. Work now, receive answers later. That was her motto.

_Most of the time._

The person trying to steal the information was good, but _she_ was better. And typed out her code faster than she ever had. Puzzled about the amount of things Stark had on Foster, with her only being there a short time.

But that’s ok.

She had to protect her best friend.

 

Bucky left Jane securely in her lab, after an amazing night, and a pleasant morning, where Jane got a full night’s sleep, with no nightmares. Her eyes this morning glowed, as a well-loved woman’s always did. And he couldn’t resist loving her one more time before they got ready for the day.

She didn’t seem to mind his overprotectiveness, which seemed strange to him. Darcy had described her a fierce, downright feminist, who hated hovering, and would never be told what to do. It was a sign of how far she’d actually fallen, not physically, but emotionally after whatever had happened, had happened.

She hadn’t told him she loved him. She still had her emotions in check most of the time. But that was ok. Because in the end, it would be her decision to love him. And love him alone. And that was the greatest gift he could ask for.

Bucky understood the need for a handler. He’d lived with one for seventy something years, and as much as he disliked ordering Jane to do anything, she couldn’t survive this without someone insuring that she could actually survive.

He’d made her breakfast that morning, and when she’d sniffed at the sausage, he’d told her to eat it, and she’d obeyed. She didn’t really fight anyone, and Bucky was worried about how tiny she was. Just a slip of a thing. She’d admitted that if she got to busy, she’d forget to eat. Work first, eat later. And that was _not_ ok with him.

So today, since he had to be in the war room most of the day, he’d made plans with Friday to insure that food would get ordered and brought to her, and that if she didn’t eat, he’d be told automatically. If he had to hold her down and force her, he would.

He had no idea where Darcy was this morning, or else he’d ask her. He saw her racing down the halls, and taking the elevator up to security, but she’d not acknowledged him being there. So he let it go. Must be important. She’d always stop to give him a hug.

He’d try not to dwell on that today. He made his way from her lab to the right, when a pair of arms grabbed him from a room, and pulled him in. _Threat? Not threat._  And he resisted the urge to fight.

“You’re late, Sergeant Barnes.”

_Peggy Carter?_ “What the-“and Tony.

She’d smiled. Her hair was white as snow. But she could still make him stand at attention, even at ninety five years old. From all that he could remember of her. “Steve said you were sick.” He watches a brief hint of grief flash in her eyes and then it was gone. Secretly he wondered how she kept her composure. She was a boulder. Solid. Unshakable. Unmovable, still to this day.

“You’re about to get a crash course into our convoluted family history, Barnes,” Tony pulled him out a seat, and motioned for him to sit down. “So sit, and listen, and put that pretty little photographic mind of yours to good use.

“Sergeant Barnes-,”

“Bucky. Please, ma’am.”

The woman smiled and sat down next to him, slightly putting hand over his across the table, before she started again. “Bucky. I am pleased to see that you are alive and doing well. It’s a miracle to be sure. I’ll be forever grateful that you were found. We hadn’t a clue. We’d not found a body, so we could only assume that’d you’d been found. And when you weren’t returned, we had to assume you were alive. But we didn’t know,” she choked a little, trying to push back a sob. “We didn’t know, the extent of what was happening, until 2006. And by then, it was too late to intervene. We didn’t know where you were kept. Or how you even survived. By then we knew, that S.H.I.E.L.D. had been infiltrated. We didn’t want to cause panic. We spent years trying to weed out Hydra forces from S.H.I.E.L.D. one by one, quietly and successfully. My daughter was an overseeing agent that made sure that it was done successfully. My granddaughter. My precious granddaughter, she became a target and they didn’t even know it.”

“Ma’am.”

“Manchurian Candidate, this is where it gets complicated. Jane Foster. The woman who you’ve been making googly eyes over the last two months? That’s my daughter.”

“What,” he sits up more, alert now. “Why didn’t she at least tell me that?”

“She doesn’t know, Bucky.” She does something with her hand and it calms his racing heart down considerably enough for him to relax. "None of it. If she had, with who she was with Thor? She most definitely would not be here today. We’ve kept so many details from her life, that she only knows bits and pieces of the facts we gave her.”

“Does she know, _you?_ Who you are?”

The lady nods and smiles slightly. “No one would be able to keep me from my granddaughter. They’d die slowly and painfully before that happened.”

“She said her father was a teacher.”

“The man who adopted her was a professor, yes.”

“Why?”

“When Anthony and my daughter came to us and said they’d messed up, we saw the future. The world was already pretty grim, Bucky, as you would well know. But, the man I’d married after the war, I had two children with. I loved him. And I love my children.He passed away too quickly. My last child was born out of wed-lock. An affair, I am ashamed to admit, with a married man, in the British monarchy. Everything about my pregnancy was kept under wraps, and my daughter was born. I hated it. I hated every ounce of secrecy that surrounded her life, I wanted her to grow up as normal as she could, like my other children. I hated seeing her go on the weekends to see her father, and hated seeing her torn up about not being with her brother and sister on a holiday when it was his turn. When Anthony and my daughter came to us, telling us they messed up, Howard and I were living in a different time then. The Soviet Union was beginning to crumble, and we were both on the KGB’s radar in a big way. Nothing was the same anymore. We arranged a marriage between her, and another man, Doctor John Foster, and it was set.”

“Why go through that much trouble?”

“When Jane was four, Howard and Maria were killed," she shoots him a look. "They were going to see her,on the way to something bigger. Anthony had to take control of the company. My daughter was in a special ops group. We had to make it seem like they were a typical American family.”

“But they weren’t. You lied. You lied to Jane.”

“It was out of protection for her. If we hadn’t she’d been in that car with the Starks' that night. Count on it.”

“I don’t understand. She doesn’t know any of this?”

“I think in some ways she knows something isn’t adding up. “

He nods and stares at Tony. “You knew this, and haven’t said anything. That’s not like you, Stark.”

“I wasn’t father material. And I can’t deny that when the plan was offered to me, I was relieved. I didn’t get along with my own father, Barnes. How was I going to raise a daughter? But my mother loved her. And I saw her all the time. Until I couldn’t anymore. It became too tough. It was damn hard watching her call another man, daddy. Watching her grow up, reminding me of my mother more and more. I supplied her with all the financial backing that she needed though. And I was there for every important event in her life, even if I was in the shadows. I may be everything that a father shouldn’t be, but I take care of what is mine.”

That was new. Tony had never spoken with that much determination before, and Peggy had pride in her eyes as she watched him give his speech. “We’ve all take care of her as she’s grown up. My daughter's father's family. My family. John’s family. Anthony’s family. She’s never wanted for anything. “

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“There was an attack on the Stark Industries servers this morning. Trying to access the database, trying to come up with all things Jane. If any of this information gets out, we can’t presume to assume that there won’t be consequences.”

“Consequences from who?”

“Anyone and everyone with an agenda against me, Anthony, The British Royal Family. Thor. You.”

“Why would anyone have an agenda against Thor?”

“Do you know why she’s so keen on not opening up that bridge again, when she was so excited and adamant on getting it to work? Fury has plans for that bridge, but he’s not seeing the extent of it. He’s viewing it as a tourist destination. A way to connect the world to the rest of the galaxy, and Jane’s his star. The rest of the galaxy view earth as a nuisance. View Thor and his family as the only thing standing in their way for total world domination, as Jane learned first-hand. When someone holds your head against the fire, how do you not talk to save your life?”

 

Bucky had literally stared at the ceiling for two minutes, he had a keen sense of keeping time, and Peggy was gone. Tony had shrugged. “She’s in and out all the time.” _Of course she was._ But he had a better idea of what demons his girl was facing. Problem was. He had no way to help her. He made his excuses to Tony, and made his way to the war room.

He was late. But he was sure the look on his face told Steve and Sam not to question him on that. Natasha looked like she might, but was silenced by a cut throat motion by Sam.

He _needed_ to talk to Sam. Needed to be sure that he was able to take this on. Because as much as he wanted to believe that he was fully healed, there were instances, during stress, where he would revert back to his silent ways. Not killing. Not fighting. But quiet, ready for a command.

And if Jane had been tortured, as her grandmother _Peggy_ had suggested, by God knows who. She was dealing with a whole mess of things that were as new to him as the world he was living in now.

Was this how she’d lost her child? Why didn’t she tell him? How on earth was she surviving? Who did this? And where in the hell was Thor?

As far as Darcy was concerned, with Thor, he had adored Jane. She walked on the moon, but if something happened between them, Darcy wasn’t sure that he was the type to abandon Jane in a crisis. Darcy knew next to nothing of what happened to Jane over the last year. She’d moved out and back to London. She knew her mother had passed away. But that was it.

_Were they tortured together_?

Darcy hadn’t even brought up Jane losing a baby, so he’d left it at that. Jane would trust Darcy with that secret in her own time. Wasn’t it like that with him, not even a year ago? People letting him talk in his own free will, when he was ready, not forced to be ready. And if this was the case, couldn’t Jane be protecting Darcy from something even bigger, then he could see.

The world knew of Captain America’s girlfriend. It was one reason why Darcy rarely left the tower. If the world, not only the world but the entire _galaxy_ knew she was Thor’s friend as well, her life could be in danger as well, couldn’t it?

Is that why Jane kept her distance from Darcy? She didn’t want her to become a target of a greater force. And what about Thor? Where was he? Was his reasoning for not being around this sound?

And where did that leave _him_? He could be a shadow to the media. Most of the world didn’t know he was still alive. Jane hadn’t. Was that why she trusted him so easily?

_No._ She proved that to him last night. She cared for him, he could tell that, more than she cared to admit. But if she did admit it? If she admitted the words he longed to hear her say, would that make him a target?

He didn’t care, he’d kill them all for her love.

He must’ve been too quiet Sam had nudged him, and whispered. “You ok, buddy?”

He could only nod.

“Talk later?”

Another nod.

Yes. He could trust Sam to work him through his emotions. He’d keep the secrets to himself for now, until at least someone could make some sense of this whole situation to him.

 

“You’ve slept with her, now you’re feeling so emotional,” Sam teased as he sat a sandwich in front of him. “You’re such a girl, Barnes.” And that’s all it took to bring Bucky out of his funk.

“Fuck you, ass hole.”

“Does Steve know you talk like that?”

Their easy banter continued until they were both finished with their meal. “Where _is_ Jane, by the way? Don’t you usually eat lunch with her? I thought that was your thing now. Darcy’s pissed about it.”

“I need help, Sam.”

“That’s why I’m here buddy. What’s going on? You haven’t had a relapse in months.”

Bucky shook his head, and took a deep breath. “It’s Jane. I can’t give out details, but, I need to know that I’m capable of helping her. That I won’t relapse and scare her. She doesn’t need that.”

Sam nods and frowns thoughtfully. “Something’s happened? To Jane? Is she ok?”

“I can’t tell you that?”

“So Darcy has had a right to be concerned this whole time. She keeps saying that Jane’s ‘changed.’”

“I don’t know. Jane doesn’t really talk about anything that’s happened this last year. At least from what I gather from Darcy, that’s her biggest concern. That’s when the changed happened.”

“Her mother died.”

“It’s bigger than that, Sam. She lost her father as well years back. That didn’t stop her from accomplishing the extraordinary.”

“I didn’t think about it like that. And I’ve noticed changes too. Jane’s reputation is well known. The sweetest person in the world, but quick to temper. Hard working, extremely smart. Always has her head in the stars. I don’t think I’ve heard of her working on anything ‘star’ or ‘space’ related besides that app since she’s got here. She hasn’t hired any interns since she’s gotten here, and they’re practically lining up to work for her. Once you get a Nobel you just don’t stop working. She’s not that type of person.”

Bucky watched as Sam went through his theories, marking off imaginary checks next to each box he passed.

“She’s completely abandoned her degree, and is working with Tony almost every day, which did I tell you, is damn scary. Because she is smart, _scary_ smart. And you put two smart people together like that. Man. Let’s hope Banner can be there to bring them down to earth.”

Bucky grins ruefully, _like father, like daughter._

“It could be Thor. But he hasn’t been around in months. She doesn’t seem like she’s pining over him necessarily. If someone mentions him, she does have a habit of changing the topic really fast. But that could be her mind trying to make her miss him less, until that bond is fully healed. And I’m assuming she has no issues talking to you which is why you’re here now.”

“She doesn’t talk about it. I got told.”

“Told by who?”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s complicated. Point is. I need to help her. And when it all comes out, we’ll all need to help her. Because this isn’t the type of thing someone can survive alone.”

“Bucky, you haven’t had a relapse in months. I’m pretty sure we’ve dug all that programming outta of ya. You had the best minds in the world working on you in Wakanda. And look at you, you’re human again. You have all these feelings and emotions that you wouldn’t have if they weren’t successful. You make your own decisions now. What you wear. What you eat. Who you hang out with. Hell, that day that you saw Jane the first time, you came in and Steve was so damn relieved, he cried for an hour after you left because you looked like your normal self.”

Bucky nods and takes a drink from his bottle of water.

“I don’t think you’ll relapse. But you may have memories. Especially if she says something that may remind you of something that happened. And I think I’ve just tapped something on the head, because your eyes just widened. What the hell happened, Barnes?”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t. It’s all so complicated, and confusing. All I know is _something_ has happened. And I could really use your help trying to find out what it is.”

“Something happened? To Jane?”

Bucky nods.

“Mother fucker.”

 

The next attack came to his servers a little before night fall, and Friday revealed it to him, almost _amused_? He sat himself at the computer and started

“Let’s lead them on a goose chase Friday. No one is hurting my baby girl again. And this time those firewalls are going to be fucking _Stark-proof._ ”

“Yes sir.”

He sent a wave of counter attacks into two directions, one coming from a server in Colorado, _weird,_ and one from D.C. He could only imagine where that one was coming from. Probably both from the one man who hated being told no more than he did. His counter attacks were sure to fry their equipment, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. This was coming from a man that thought it was ok to build weapons of mass destruction, without so much a care of how it would be perceived by the galaxy. Thor _had_ been right in that aspect.

He had no forgiveness for the bastard who would fake someone’s death to do his bidding. And he’d show no mercy to the man who didn’t seem to care that his daughter had disappeared off of the face of this earth under his agent’s watchful eye, and not inform anyone until they were returned. His daughter holding her dead mother in her lap as she cried, and cried, and cried, begging for someone to take her instead.

Peggy had been shaken. The in formidable agent and best friend to his father, the toughest person he knew, had called him, crying.  You don’t fake that type of fear. And you don’t forgive that type of stupidity. Point blank. Fury had dealt the cards, and now he could deal with the fall out. He didn’t need other worlds to protect earth.

The Avengers were doing just fine.

Friday came back on the coms. _“Sir. Director Fury for you.”_

“Patch him through.”

“YOU’VE DESTROYED THREE OF MY SERVORS STARK! REFRAIN FROM DESTROYING MY FOURTH!”

“Stop hacking my files and you have yourself a deal.”

“I need that information, Stark. This could change the world.”

“This could _end_ the world.”

“Stark- SON OF A BITCH. THAT WAS THE LAST ONE!”

“Ciao, Jackass.”

“Stark-“

Friday comes on the coms again “ _Sir-“_

“Hold that thought Friday. If it’s Fury again-“

_“Sir. The Duke of Westminster on the line for you.”_

”What the- I thought he died.”

_“His son, Sir.”_

“Stark.”

“Hugh?”

“Let’s cut to the chase. What are you doing to protect my sister? Because we’ve had three breeches of security from the Americas today alone. And I’m not in the mood for games. So either you take this in hand, or I will. And I’ll use every dirty little trick in my arsenal to make sure those that did or do anything to hurt her, will see fit to not think of her name again.”

 

Jane couldn’t focus. She sat the tablet down that she’d been staring at, and rubbed at her eyes, feeling a hand massage her shoulder as he gently brought her back down to earth.

“Did you eat?” His voice was husky, and oozed the Brooklyn that she found so sexy on him, and she fell back against him allowing him to wrap his arms around him.

“I could’ve done with a salad.”

“No meat.”

“I know. But I ate.”

He seemed to sag in relief, and she turned in his arms to give him a hug. His eyes seemed more troubled then when he left her this morning. “Long day?”

He nods, and there’s that smirk. “You could say that.”

“Need to talk.”

“No baby. I’m ok.”

“I’m here if you need.”

“Likewise,” he nods. “Can I take you out of here? You done for the day?”

“I think so. What’d you have in mind?”

“Family dinner with my favorite girl, Sam, _and_ her grandmother.”

_What the-_? “HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW HER?!”

 

 Thor watched with Heimdall as the man in black threw up his hands in a fit of rage over Stark's success at deterring him,  _again._ "That's not Fury."

The guardian could only shake his head, a fleck of concern highlighting his golden eyes. "No, my prince. This is an old enemy to The good Captain and his friend."

"He's the one who hurt Jane? Not Surtur as we thought." 

"His powers are unparalleled, my lord."

"His intentions are to-"

The guardian nods. "Make his way to Asgard, to be with the gods."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I was taking liberties with Jane's background and family. And this chapter you really start to see it take shape. Jane has secrets, her secrets have secrets. And It was all originated out of protection for her.
> 
> For some reason she feels safe enough to tell Bucky, we'll see that later. But because Jane was able to trust Bucky, her grandmother felt the need to disclose information to him, because she's seen Jane's suffering, and anyone who's been through that hell needs someone, don't they? I don't know why she trusts Bucky, but she does trust him to protect her granddaughter, so we'll leave it at that. 
> 
> The Duke of Westminster is not a fictional person. I've used his real name. No one knows much about him, but he's a very successful business man. He's young enough to be Jane's older brother by a few months. I picked him because of the business aspect, his father, Jane's father died this year so he took on the title. Tony would know him from random meetings, and sharing the same inner circles. *sighs* tough place to be. 
> 
> Steve still doesn't know any of this. And due to patient/doctor confidentiality, Sam is in a tough place, but that won't stop him from helping his friends. Darcy may have a little idea about Jane's complicated past now, because of course, she's seen some files now. But Stark has those encryption codes so thick that she'd probably get bored easily and move onto something more exciting. Her thrill is out-witting someone who's trying to out-wit her.


	6. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Two things. One. Bucky Barnes is easily the noblest person on this fucking earth. And two. I really need to throw up right now. Jane needs us. All of us. Bucky too. Cause this shit just got real.”

“JANESSA.”

Jane looked up from her spot next to Bucky, on the large sectional in Bucky’s apartment. She’d been fiddling with one of the plates on his arm, and he hadn’t seemed to mind. But her grandmother’s voice booked no protest, and she knew she’d have to start talking eventually. Apparently, her grandmother, boyfriend, and self-appointed therapist were ganging up on her. And really, she’d find it comical if she could push down the alarming terror that was slowly taking over her body.

She didn’t want to talk about it. It was easier to keep it hidden. Her nightmares were less intense if she didn’t dwell on it.

Everyone she loved said that was no way to live.

_Good way not to die._ She found herself echoing Bucky’s words to herself on her their first ‘official’ date over two months ago. Sure that wasn’t an excuse, and nobody wanted her to talk more than he did. She was starting to feel guilty about that. Perhaps because nobody, except for him, could actually understand the horrors.

But still, he’d talked about it, and still had issues.

She looked around the room, and everyone was still there, waiting patiently for her to explain herself. Tony had joined the room, _when did he get here?_ And in their eyes, _sympathy._ She hated sympathy.

She was supposed to be a strong, independent woman. Her mother raised her that way. To fight through it. In the end, she had. She fought through it. It cost her, her mother in the process.

She fought to push back the tears, but they were coming now. There was no use to stop them. She felt Bucky shift next to her, wrapping his arm, the metal one around her, murmuring words of encouragement.

”We’re here baby-doll. Let us in. So we can help you.”

She could only listen, as sobs welled up in her throat.  The pain was too much, too real. Too- and suddenly she was there.

_Her mother had opened the windows today, and the house felt a little bigger. Good thing. She’d just found out that she was three month’s pregnant. Her mom was ecstatic. Her smile so brilliant, and instantly she felt calmer, safe._

_They’d hugged, and talked about what she wanted to do. Had she told Thor? How was he taking it? Are you going to live here in London, or in Asgard? Things typical of what would happen when a new expectant mother would be talking with her own mother after announcing her first pregnancy. Or at least Jane thought they were._

_She really had no frame of reference._

_The loud cracks outside, sounded like thunder, so they thought nothing of it. But when a man dressed in black, appeared in the family room, they were definitely a little startled. Her heart began to race._

_The way he looked at her mother. At her, was enough to make anyone’s skin crawl. He was to fake to be real, and too real to fake. She didn’t know who he was, and automatically listened to her mom’s command, “Run, Janessa. Don’t look back.”_

_She tried. She really did, but the wormhole opened up, (in the middle of the room), and swallowed them both whole._

_The world was dark. Her heart was racing, and her mom was shaking, a sign of how very real the threat was. Her mom was afraid of nothing. She had her hand._

_The creature came nearer, again. And drew back the mask that made him human. His head, a skull, and red, and easily the scariest thing she’s ever seen. And she’s seen Malakeith._

_Her mom knew of him._

_“Red Skull.”_

_“In the flesh. Or rather not. I suppose we can thank your mother for that.”_

_“My mother did the right thing, you despicable son of a bitch.” And he slapped her, before moving to her._

_Reflexes caused her to take a step back, but he was quicker, stronger. “Thor-“she’d managed a week cry._

_“Not even your Asgardian prince, can save you now, Princess. Now let me get what I came for. You have a piece of technology that will help me solidify my place among the galaxy. I have men on earth, storming your buildings right now, looking for any piece of evidence that it’s active and working. Now we can do this, the easy way, or the hard way.”_

_“Jane don’t do this-“her mother’s eyes were wider than she’d ever seen them, frightened, but strong. Passionate, fierce._

_“SILENCE, WOMAN!”_

_“To give you a piece of the bridge, would cause destruction of this entire universe. Hardly an offer worth accepting.”_

_“Well then,” his eyes gleamed, if they could do such a thing. “Let’s see what I can do to make you see it my way.”_

_She was tired. She was hungry. Her baby. (Oh god, my baby.) She was looking for a way out. Something her mind could see that her tired frazzled body could escape to, grabbing her mother along the way._

_There was none._

_So the beatings began. First to her, as her mother watched, pleading for him not to do it. They’d lost count how many days they’d been gone. They were hungry, tired, and terrified. Each time he’d  ask, “The bridge, now?”_

_And each time she’d saw fit to smart off. “Thought your men had the proofs.”_

She regretted that now.

 

_The beatings got worse. From wood, to rope, to a weapon with an electrical weapon that would burn her every time it touched her. She’d had enough and screamed to Odin to take her baby from her. To take the child. It didn’t deserve this. To show mercy on his grandchild. And finally, to help her find her way back home._

_She knew the instant that Odin heard her plea. She also knew that Red Skull knew._

_He was more frantic._

_The baby was gone. The beatings were worse, and being distributed between her and her mother, now._

_But Odin knew this._

_Was he looking for her?_

_What did he know?_

_The final day, all those nightmares came true. Blood matted her hair, her eyes, her face, her hands, legs and feet. And her mother was no better than she was. Her mother was still encouraging her to “hold on, Janey. Just hold on.”_

_She didn’t want to anymore. But she couldn’t give anything away. She understood her mother at that moment. Her mother was the strongest woman she knew._

_In a moment. She was gone. He’d asked her. She’d responded with more conviction then Jane would ever be able to match in her entire life. “I would rather die, a thousand deaths. Then to give anything to the sadistic bastard that you are!”_

_He’d raised his weapon and shot her. A gaping hole in her chest as she bled out, she raced to her side. “Mom! Mom no. Oh god. Take me! Not her! She doesn’t know! Take me. Please!”_

_The beam of light filled the room, and she was back in her apartment complex, holding her mother, blood still pouring from her body as she lost conscious. “I’m so proud of you, Janessa. I love you.” And she was gone._

_She didn’t know who called for help. She’d assumed it was her terrified screams that alerted the neighbors. But S.H.I.E.L.D. was there, covering her mother’s cold body. Dead on arrival._

_Jane was wheeled out as her grandmother came in. Grandma Peggy was just that that day. Grandma Peggy, and didn’t leave her side._

_She woke, and Tony Stark was there, telling her she would be living there._

_“I can keep you safe there.”_

_She could only nod and fall back to sleep._

_Thor had visited, promising her vengeance on the ‘Red Man.’ And mourning with her the loss of their child. She could only stare ahead._

_The following days were, recovering and planning her mother’s funeral. At the funeral she mourned the loss of the child she’d remember the rest of her life. A child that she hoped was happy, and safe, and secure._

_Something that she hadn’t been able to give it._

She couldn’t stop crying. Bucky was there rubbing her shoulders, and kissing her head. Tony was on the other side. Sam was there passing her tissues, she could see that there were tears in his own eyes. Her grandmother too, as she watched silently as she listened to the details of her youngest daughter’s death, and granddaughter’s torture.

Bucky had passed her gently to Tony, who was murmuring words of comfort, as he stood and walked to the kitchen to talk to Sam quietly.

 

“I don’t know what to do, Barnes. This is not what I was expecting at all. A little space fright, sure. But this?” He shook his head. “Her nightmares. No wonder she’s having nightmares. She’s only told me the details, and I have the fucking chills.”

“I know,” Bucky nods. “Me too. Fucking Red Skull. Fucking Hydra.”

“I guess he and they are going back on our fucking to-do list. This fucking hurts so badly. She’s out there. She’s done what we’ve asked, and I don’t even know where to begin to respond. Mother and child. She lost them both to a fucking sadistic demon who thinks he’s a god. Unbelievable. You realize, we have to call Steve. We have to let him know. Because if this guy is still alive. He’ll be back. Darcy told me that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s been itching to get their fingers on Jane’s information, today alone she’s blocked five attacks, and her fingers are so numb from typing code so damn fast. And what is it with people just not staying dead?”

“What can _I_ do? What can I do to help her? To get her through this.”

“This is so much more than PTSD, Barnes. This could only be the beginning. They could come for her again.”

“Over my dead body,” he growls.

“I’ve dealt with woman and miscarriages before. Sometimes it helps when they can imagine their child’s spirit just being there right alongside them. Like there more like a guardian angel. That sort of thing. Her child will always be a part of her Barnes. Get that straight. If things progress between you two, and you know. You two decide to have children. There’s always going to be that bittersweet feeling for her. “

“I understand.” Bucky nods.

“She’s lost her mom. That may be a little harder, and probably the bigger reason she’s having nightmares. Not that she lost her, but the _way_ she lost her. She thinks it’s her fault. You have no idea what that does to a person’s conscience. I’m still working on Steve with that about you. Her grandmother has it right. No one expected her to give up that information. She might be your closest ally in that. You can tell her and tell her that it’s not her fault. But you didn’t know her mother. Her grandmother lost her daughter in this. She’s got to be one of the people to help her with this.”

He nods. “Got it.”

“And when were you going to tell me that her grandmother was Peggy Carter. These fucking secrets are starting to piss me off.”

“I just found out myself.”

“I swear. Next you’re going to tell me that Tony Stark in there is her father.”

Bucky eyes widen.

“No way-“

“Sam.”

“No fucking way. Stark’s her father,” he hisses. “This girl hit the genetic lottery.”

“She doesn’t know, Sam. She doesn’t know a lot about her family. She knows her mom and grandmother, and the man who adopted her, but she doesn’t know she’s adopted. Please, please don’t say a thing. They deserve to tell her.”

“How did you find out?”

“Same as you. They had to break the shell first.”

 

Tony was lost. On one hand he wanted to hold his daughter, and swear that nothing would hurt her ever again. He was stupid to stay away. Who could’ve protected him better than he could? On the other hand he wanted to storm the galaxy, and find the bastard who did this. But he had things to do first.

He had to tell his daughter, _finally,_ that he was her father. And by all that is holy, she’d never hurt again.

And he had to find out what S.H.I.E.L.D. knows about his daughters attack. He needs to know why they want her information so bad.  

_Why indeed._

Sam stumbled into their apartment late that evening, to find Steve and Darcy curled up on the couch watching some dance reality show. When he didn’t issue his normal sarcastic greeting, they raised their eyes at him in concern.

“Are you alright, Sammy?”

“What’s wrong, Sam?”

“Two things. One. Bucky Barnes is easily the noblest person on this fucking earth. And two. I really need to throw up right now.” He races to the bathroom, at the side of the kitchen, and empties his stomach, with Darcy and Steve behind him in concern.

“What’s going on, Sam,” Darcy asks.

“Red skull is going back on your ‘to do’ list Cap.” Steve gasps at the name. “Jane needs us. All of us. Bucky too. Cause this shit just got real.”

He barely finishes his sentence when Darcy races out the door, the two men follow close behind. Steve grabbing his shield.

Just in case.

 

Pepper was worried. She’d heard the details as Jane talked, and she hadn’t liked what she’d heard. Her daughter by default, would have all the protection, Stark Industries and the Avengers could give. Because in war, who did you have to depend on, but family.

 

Bucky pulled Jane close, wrapping her in his arms. _“Anything to let her know that you’re here, and you’re real,”_ Sam had said. As Tony relayed to Steve and Darcy the dark details, which had Darcy burrowing herself next to Jane, holding onto her tight.

The moment Steve had found out Peggy was Jane’s grandmother, would have been awkward, if not for the constant shivers, and distant stare that had taken over Jane’s body. Blankets were warmed, a comedy put on in the background.

“Something to bring her out,” said Darcy.

And his apartment was now a makeshift war room. Computers were used to scan the world’s internet, and satellite feeds on any abnormalities. Darcy put her hacking skills to good use, and Pepper had joined her, bringing dinner with her for the whole crew.

Nobody was expecting a knock on the door. And of course Steve, grabbed his shield to go answer it.

It was Thor. Or he’d never seen the man before, but he assumed it was Thor from the accounts he’d heard of him.

That and everyone greeted him. He hugged Darcy and then his eyes caught his own, looked at Jane curled up against his body, nodded. And that was it. But Bucky knew. Thor had passed on her well-being to himself. The look a warning. _Don’t fuck it up._ Jane’s safety, he assumed, was something they agreed on.

“I have distressing news friends. Heimdall’s eyes have been blinded at his deception, until now. I myself as well could not have seen this.”

“Spit it out Point Break,” Tony snapped.

“You’re S.H.I.E.L.D. director Fury, has been replaced, by some other in his likeness. He is not Fury at all.”

“What do you mean, he’s not Fury,” Pepper asked, standing up. “We just had a meeting with him this morning.”

“He’s an allusion, Lady Pepper. He has a red face, and an agenda against the earth, _and_ Asgard.”

Steve swore. Tony paled. And Jane clung to him tighter. Shaking more violently then before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I maybe cried a little.(a lot) I have serious Jane feels. 
> 
> I also have Sam feels. He's slowly becoming a favorite character of mine. 
> 
> And of course I have Bucky feels. 
> 
> A few things. Sort of like with Loki falling into the abyss, Odin was unable to see them. Heimdall as well. But he could hear Jane. Odin isn't as unfeeling in my story as he is in the movies. He felt a connection to Jane through his grandchild, and basically listened to her. Perhaps he remembered Jane fighting against Malakeith which such strength, that her being broken might have scared him a little. That, and the fact that Heimdall could only see a red blob, which he mistakenly thought was Surtur, causing him to send Thor to the wrong place to fight the fire demon for Jane, instead of Red Skull. By the time, they could find her 'coordinates,' it was too, too late. 
> 
> The bridge found them, and took them back home, before retrieving Thor from Muselpheim, and sending them to Earth.
> 
> The bridge is a weapon, that Red Skull wants in his arsenal, for global domination. It's manned by Heimdall, but the bridge in my story is sentient. It has a connection with Jane, so while Heimdall was trying to send the bridge to Thor in Muselpheim, the bridge took a detour. Maybe because Jane has a connection to it that hasn't been had before. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


	7. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks Punk. But I can make do on my own.”
> 
> “I know, pal. But here’s the thing. You don’t have to.”

Steve pulled Bucky aside the next morning on the way to the War Room. Obviously after a long night no with no sleep. He had no idea his best friend could even look like that now. He barely required sleep is it is. He understood though. He was sure he looked like hell too.

After Thor’s announcement had shocked the entire room, Tony had put the tower on lock down. Everyone had been sent home, and nobody, but Tony’s most trusted security team and The Avengers were allowed on the inside. They made headway, replacing Jane’s files with fake ones to throw the skull off the trail for at least a few more weeks. The equations were fake, the numbers were fake. All of it a fluke.

Darcy and Pepper put up a set of firewalls around it that would be breakable, but not as easy, so whoever was in charge of getting Jane’s information to him, wouldn’t think anything of it. They’d been fighting so hard to keep it private.

Tony had come clean to Jane, privately in Bucky’s bedroom. The two of them had cried for hours after Jane’s initial disbelief, but had become inseparable. Peggy expressed her regrets in her actions for the adoption. But Jane had agreed that it was for the best.

She still hadn’t stopped shaking. When Bruce got there, he and Betty assessed the situation with a few nods from Tony, and given her some anxiety medication. It seemed to calm her down considerably, but she still had the chills. They were still keeping a close eye on her. And if Bucky had to leave her side for one minute, he was sure he could trust her with the two Hulks.

There was another point of contention. Tony had a specially selected group of people who worked for him. But Maria Hill had vetted all the security after the first Hydra attack.

Maria had left Stark Industries two months ago to go back and work for Fury.

And who was Fury anyway? Natasha was having a damn hard time, and fuck if he didn’t want to throw his fist through the guys face right now. Natasha had become very close to him. Probably most likely from shared experiences they couldn’t remember. They joked about it from time to time, mostly in Russian, much to Darcy’s annoyance. But S.H.I.E.L.D. had saved her life. Fury had saved her life. So she in turn worked to prove herself worthy of it. But was Fury actually Fury? Now Natasha didn’t have a foot to stand on, the guilt she had possibly doing Red Skulls dirty deeds was eating her alive.

Clint wasn’t much better. He’d been called, and had come out of retirement especially to kick the bastard’s ass. He too understood torture. And he knew Jane personally. And well wouldn’t you know? Laura Barton, was Jane Foster’s cousin.

The family lineage his girl had, had his head spinning. Hers too if he was being honest. The Tony Stark thing, she probably wouldn’t have believed it had her grandmother not been there. It meant that she had a lot of powerful people to defend her. It also meant she had a lot of powerful people gunning for her. And hell, he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Last night was the most stressful night he’d had in a long time. There were times when he would feel himself shift when it became too much. But Jane’s shaking constantly pulled him back. He hadn’t talked to Sam about it, but he figured the man knew, after he’d seen his friend shooting him constant worried looks. He found his bed last night full, with Jane in the middle and Darcy curled over her tightly. He could only slide in on the other side of her, and hold on to her as she slept.

Her nightmare was the worse he’d heard yet, and even had Sam, who had been keeping watch with Steve, in tears.

Steve was watching him silently as his mind raced, and he fought to control his breathing.

“You ok, Buck?”

“Definitely been better. I thought I could handle this.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for, Punk? You didn’t do anything.”

“I shoulda made sure he was dead. I shoulda gone through that portal.”

“What,” Bucky asked. “And risk not finding him? Not killing him? Not saving millions of people since you came back? Not saving me? No thanks. No one blames you, Steve. Not Peggy. Not Tony. Not me. And certainly not Jane.”

“It would have saved her.”

“You heard Thor last night, man. Even his father couldn’t see her, beyond a connection through her child! He said the guardian sent him to the wrong place! No all of the galaxy is on the verge of war because of this one guy!”

“But-“

“And before you say anything stupid. Thor doesn’t even blame you! Thor wants to send him to Hel where he belongs.”

“Vengeance for his unborn child.”

“Vengeance for not being able to keep his word.”

“Did you two talk?”

“We talked.”

Steve stood their patiently, waiting. He forgot how patient the Punk could be. “And,”

“And we’re in agreement. Jane’s safety comes first. Their relationship is over. He knows that much. As does Jane. He’ll always love her, he said that much. But that’s ok. If it means someone can cover my back while fighting for her, then I’ll take all the backup I can get.”

“Bucky. I lost you once, Punk. Sam noticed you slipping last night. If you need help, or to step away, one of us will be willing to step in. We won’t leave Jane alone. She’s family. You’re family. We would never do that. But, you’ve worked so hard, and this is Hydra. _Hydra_ Buck. I need to know that you’ll be ok.”

Bucky nods in agreement at his best friends reasoning. “Thanks Punk. But I can make do on my own.”

“I know, pal. But here’s the thing. You don’t have to.”

 

Jane was at odds with herself. These calculations weren’t right at all. No way should she have been able to even start at locating the bridge’s location with the shoddy math job she did on this. But then why was she able to connect with it? And why did Red Skull want her work? Her _real_ work?

The anxiety medicine Bruce had given her had taken affect, and she was getting annoyed. They were tag-teaming her. When Bruce left, Betty walked in. Then Tony. Then Sam. Then Natasha. Then Steve. All the heavy hitters were her personal body guards, and she didn’t know if she should feel extremely safe, or extremely worried that they all were putting that much concern into guard duty. Was this _that_ big of a deal?

Well yeah, she didn’t want to go through that again. But was she still that serious of a threat?

_Yeah. Probably._ Just her fucking luck.

James had been in and out. Making sure she was eating. She showered. Making sure that she knew he loved her, and that he was thinking about her. Or even just for a kiss one or twenty times.  She was grateful. And annoyed. _Grateful and annoyed._ Sam had mentioned him slipping and she was concerned. Grateful, annoyed, and concerned.

What a damn fucking mess she was in. Her, and every other person in her life. She should have just stayed in London. Everyone would have been safer with her there. But _no._ Her dad, ( _her dad?_ ) had to make sure that she was the princess in the ivory tower.

And what the hell was up with that, anyway? Why hadn’t her grandmother told her? Why hadn’t her mother told her? She was a reasonable human being. She could have taken the news with class in dignity.

_Well maybe the class part. Lately she hadn’t done well with the dignity part. But she was working on that._

And now she was seriously taking a page out of James’ book. What the hell with all the secrets? She knew who her grandmother was. Was it really that far-fetched that she wouldn’t accept that Tony Stark was her father? And that _Holy Mary Mother of God,_ her grandfather was a _Duke?_

She put her head in her hands as she leaned forward and looked at the schematics again as Laura rubbed her back, and Steve hit something on his tablet.

_My life is so fucked up._

Darcy issued an ultimatum to Sam, and he was currently on step two of it. _You’re going to sex the stress out of me, then you’re going to fix my best friend._ The sex had been good for the both of them. Sam and Darcy were different from Steve. Steve could go days without it, and when Steve was stressed he turned on his mind, and made steps to get through it.

Sam understood why Steve was in charge of the Howling Commandos. He was a master tactician even back then. A great leader back then, a better leader now with the Avengers. Darcy and Sam needed physical contact when stressed. That was their release.

Plus Steve was concerned, not only about Jane, but about Bucky too. So was he. The number of times he saw Bucky’s face fall into submission last night was frightening. He was convinced that he had dug all that trigger shit out of his head.

Maybe this wasn’t a trigger, but a way that he responded to stress.

_Or pain._

It made sense. He’d read the paperwork. If the soldier flinched in any kind of pain, punishment was severe. No one had kept notes on the emotional turmoil he was experiencing. No one cared. He was there for one purpose, and one purpose only.

Bucky had a tendency of feeling others pain. He was sympathetic in a way that Steve hadn’t recognized from the way he was before the war. Hydra had spent years trying to break him down. But had they really?

The man had a photographic memory. If you asked, he could tell you everything. Everything he ate on what date. What weapon he used for each mission. The only fuzzy part was what happened during his time with the KGB and Natasha. Sam figured he was either heavily drugged, _which hadn’t made any sense. The serum would have burnt through that so fast._ Or they taught him to un-see what he’d seen. Make it all a part of a different reality. Maybe to Bucky, his time there was just a dream. He hadn’t really done anything of importance during that time, except train Natasha.

Tony’s parents were murdered after the KGB released him to Hydra.

But Sam knew now, the woman he loved was hurting, and Bucky was trying to absorb her pain.

Which meant that they had to absorb Bucky’s.

They were all family now. Hydra already fucked with him once. And not one of them were going to let that happen again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo. This is obviously a filler chapter. Lots of work to do before the stuff hits the fan! Keep reading! And let me know what you think!
> 
> This is a companion piece. A prequel to I Need You. So a lot has to happen to get from here to there.


	8. Nemesis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hail Mary Full of Grace..."

Jane woke up disoriented the next morning when the Avenger alarm sounded, with Friday’s cadence ringing through the tower. _’Avengers Assemble. Avengers Assemble.’_ And for once, she didn’t hear the sound of heavy footfalls fill the halls as she normally did when the team was called to Assemble.

The team was running on no energy. That and nobody really wanted to leave the tower. Nobody knew what was up and what was down anymore. The team had a meeting late last night that Bucky had attended. Any calls for the Avengers, Tony had gotten express permission to be passed onto the X-Men. They were more than capable of handling Avenger-sized problems, as the Avengers had a seismic problem in their own home, anyway. Bucky had said as much before kicking Darcy from (their?) bed, needing contact with her as much as she needed him.

If their first night together was slow and sensual, their second night was hard, and fast. A mess of blankets and clothes were on the floor, Bucky’s body heat the only protection against the cold. She didn't mind. It gave her an excuse to cuddle with him.

She hadn’t pictured him as the sort who liked to cuddle. Maybe it was the growing uncertainty of what was to come, that he allowed her to get so close to him.

She watched him a few more minutes before he spoke.

“You’re watching me sleep.”

“No. I’m watching you fake sleep, I know you’ve been awake since the alarm.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that.”

He mutters something about not getting away with anything, and _too smart for her own good,_ before pulling her in for a kiss. “Mornin’”

Jane groans. She hated waking up so early. Most of the time these days she was up before dawn only because she had had a nightmare, and there was no way she was going back to sleep.

He pushes the button on the electric blinds to cover the windows again, making the room once more. “Not morning then,” he laughs.

“Thank you.”

He inhales, and she can hear him scratch at the stubble on his face. He was irresistibly sexy with it. She hated when shaved, so he’d stopped for her, keeping it trimmed instead. He pulls her closer, and wraps a leg over her, pulling the sheet off the floor to cover them both. “I didn’t get to ask you how you’re feeling. What do you think of all this?”

“What do I think of what? The bridge? My instant family? Red Skull? You?”

“Well let’s work through that list. What’s going on with the bridge?”

“I don’t know. I stopped working on it mostly when my research with the Convergence took off. That became more important to me. I was just working on the bridge on the side you know, to unwind.” He nods. “Some of those calculations are so faulty, they’re embarrassing.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Baby doll.”

“Not me. _Not_ me. I’m a scientist. I’m supposed to test every last hypothesis. Every last avenue before making my conclusion. I did NOT do that at all.”

“Baby. I saw the video. The bridge worked. Thor came down. All the Avengers were there.”

“Yes. But it shouldn’t have worked. Now I have to figure out why in the world it did. Maybe Heimdall is playing tricks on me again. One time he sent me on this scavenger hunt. He’d drop down the bridge in certain areas, causing my data to be all crazy, and people calling me ten times a day, saying that the readings were in their area. I asked him about it, and he only smiled. He _smiled_ James. He never smiles.”

“But Thor came down, sweetheart. That’s gotta mean something, right? He wasn’t playing games then, and Thor even said himself that Heimdall hadn’t opened the bridge.”

She lies there a minute, chewing on the side of her nail, until he pulls her hand away. “Stop baby.”

“Sorry. Nervous habit.”

He smiles, and she forgets what she’s about to say. _She was so screwed._

“Ok. Number two on the list. The instant family thing. How are you feeling about that?”

“Frustrated. Pissed. Confused. Angry. Relieved.” She shrugs, and snuggles back into his embrace, and he wraps his arms around her shoulders. “I think I knew that there had to be something more going on. I never had to pay for college. My dad was a college professor, and my mom worked for the army? Yeah, I would have the very least gotten some grants. I mean. And how can I deny that Tony is my father? I mean, I can. But grandma is absolutely certain, and I don’t think Tony would ever come clean about something like this, if it weren’t true, ya know? Especially considering his whole ‘playboy’ image. And he has spent a great deal of time protecting my assets. There are papers he handed me yesterday that he’s been collecting the minute I was born. He and my mom were friends, I knew that. I just always thought of him as a ‘sort of’ uncle. And Pepper is downright scary. I don’t understand how she is always so damned poised. I’m still sorting out the whole Duke thing. I knew my mom had a different father than Grandma Peggy’s husband. But this is a bit surreal.”

He nods his understanding.

“Red Skull. I don’t want to talk about him. Sadistic bastard that he is. I want to open a portal and send him to Hel. That’s if Surtur doesn’t get a hold of him first. He scares me James. Every time I close my eyes, I can see that face. That smile.”

“Why didn’t you tell us any of this sooner? We coulda protected you, baby.”

“Every time I thought I was ready, I’d have another nightmare reliving the entire things. James, I was so close to everything I wanted, and he came along and ruined my life. I was ready for a family, James. I wanted that baby so badly. What kind of mother am I to ask for that to be taken away from me,” she sobs. “I couldn’t protect my baby. I wasn’t fit to be a mother.”

He holds her rocking, kissing her head as she cried. He let her mourn, as he cried a few tears of his own. The devastation that wrecked her body, he could feel, like a bullet to the heart.

“I didn’t want to live. I knew the instant that the baby was gone. Like someone had physically removed it from my body and it vanished. How do I get to live, when that child didn’t even get a choice?”

“I don’t _ever_ want to hear you say that again. No one is blaming this on you, nor will they. Jane. Your child wouldn’t have survived that situation. You protected it the best you knew how. You _were_ a mother. An unselfish mother. No mother wants to see their child in pain. Think of your own mother that day. Your grandmother now. Think of Pepper, the way she was holding you. You’re a daughter now to her. Think of Laura, and her children. They would have done the same thing to protect their children’s lives. You did the best thing for that child. Thor even agreed. Baby, there isn’t a person in the world that can deny that you have one of the most generous hearts on the planet. Red Skull knows it too. He wants to use that against you.”

“You think he’ll be back?”

“He’ll be back,” Bucky says. “But this time you’ll have back up because don’t think, for one second, I’m letting him get his hands on you, again.”

 

“Eureka!” Skye raised her fists in victory as she took down the firewall protecting the bridge designs. “They said it couldn’t be done! I _OWN_ Stark!”

“Technically, you can’t afford him. I can vouch for that,” Coulson says. A smirk of amusement on his face.

“Well I just handed him his ass on a platter.”

“Well. Technically. Stark’s don’t like to be handed things. I can vouch for that too.”

 

Bucky was in the middle of his shower with Jane, when another alarm rang, and Tony came over the com. “Barnes. I don’t want to know what you’re doing in my daughter’s apartment right now. But they took the bait. Time for you to suit up.”

 

Red Skull was furious. The bridge didn’t work. Hadn’t even come close to working. He could feel the Asgardian guardian laughing at him right now. He swung back and took a swing at his assistant. “These are not the right plans! YOU FOOLS! The scientist tricked us! Bring her to me! Now!”

 

The tower went on lockdown, as black holes appeared throughout the commons areas. Jane raced behind Bucky as he attached the final weapon to his belt, and Tony seethed when he saw her.

“What’s she doing here, Barnes?”

“You want to try telling her what to do? Because I’ve tried everything in the book, short of tying her to the bed. But since you’re her father, and don’t want to hear about your daughters sexual activities with me, and since we are currently on a very strict time frame. I didn’t think that was acceptable. Considering all the things I’d like to do with her all tied up like that-“

“STOP. Oh god. Just stop.” He looks at Jane. “Jane. You need to get away from this.”

“But this is about me! He’s not going to stop until he finds me! He’ll tear the whole tower apart!”

“YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH BRUCE AND BETTY!”

“Tony, I’ve got to try and close these things!”

“Friday. Get the Hulks down here. We need recon on Jane.”

“TONY!”

“JANESSA! I’ve almost lost you once. I WILL NOT LOSE YOU AGAIN! GET OUT OF HERE!”

“I can help! I can close these. I swear I can-“She was scooped up by Sam swooping down and flying her up through the middle sections of the tower, in time to meet the Hulks at the end.

“Take care of her. And whatever you do. DO NOT, LET HER OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.” He was shouting now. The roar of noise from all the portholes opening, deafening enough that she had to cover her ears.

 

Steve didn’t like this. This was too close to his last fight with Red Skull, back on the Valkyrie, before he found himself in the Arctic Ocean. This time he _had_ to stop him.

He looked over at his longest friend. He was worried. His eyes were _grey_ as he assessed the situation. The soldier clearly taking over as they waited to face their old nemesis. He looked over as Sam gave him a nudge of concern. He saw it too.

“Friday, what’s the word,” Steve asked the A.I.

“ _The portals are similar to the one’s Dr. Foster and Thor have worked with during the Convergence. These portals are shrinking in size and moving together to combine one, with the power to suck in those around it if not careful_. Dr. _Foster has suggested in her research that the use of magnets may stabilize and make the gravitational pull stronger. She has not gotten as far as that.”_

“Meaning what, Friday,” Tony asked. “We haven’t got all day.”

“ _Unless we’re able to create a pull, much the same way that the Convergence did with Dr. Foster’s devices, there may be casualties. Millions if the portal becomes large enough.”_

“Son of a bitch. It’s Ultron all over again.”

_“Worse, Sir. This can cause galaxy extinction.”_

“Friday. Get word to my daughter, Banner, and Betty. I want every brain the tower monitoring these readings, making those devices, getting some EMPs in place. That’s on Pepper and Darcy. Tell the Wrangler to type through the pain. I’ll give her a vacation when we get through this.” _If we get through this._

_“Yes, Sir. Right away.”_

The rumble on the roof let him know that the Asgardians had arrived.  His faceplate picked up the readings from the bifrost, signifying their arrival. And wouldn’t you know they arrived with all the pomp and circumstance that you would expect from the warrior planet. And, _what the hell is Loki doing here?_

“Point Break, you better have a good reason as to why Rudolph is standing in my tower at this moment, because I’m about send him up through this portal. Which ask anyone, is amazingly unstable at the moment.”

“He’s come to help us, Stark,” Thor _growled?_ “He is rather fond of Jane. He considers her a sister. It’s his mission to protect. He can protect her should she need to get close to these,” he waves his hammer to the large holes, slowly moving closer together.

“SHE’LL BE NEAR THEM, OVER MY DEAD BODY! Can’t he just do some magic wave of his hands and make them disappear?”

Thor smiles a slow smile. “His magic, and her science are one in the same.”

 

Bucky could only stare at the large black whole making the deafening sound. The tower war rattling now, windows breaking around them, and all they could do was wait. And wait. And _pray._

“Hail Mary Full of Grace,” he mutters. Steve must’ve heard, because he gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“It’s going to be alright, pal. We’ll get through this.”

Bucky could only nod. And stare. _Nod and stare._ Right now. He wasn’t so sure.

He’d been through war before. But never when he’d been in love.

And he’d only just found her.

And now the thought more terrifying to him then fighting and losing a war, was losing her.

_He just could not let that happen._

Jane hadn’t been this rushed before. She and Betty were running around to various parts of the lab floor, that suddenly looked like one huge lab floor, as the walls that separated all the rooms had descended or ascended into the floor and ceiling. _Way cool._ Of course Tony had thought of everything.

And of course the Hulk was keeping watch.

She and Betty were barking out commands, getting equipment ready, as Darcy and Pepper were successful in creating an EMP with Friday, on the ground floor. _Thank fuck._ Red Skull couldn’t try taking them into the portal with-out physical force. And she had a funny feeling that forcing the Avengers to do anything would be a hard time coming.

 

“CAPTAIN AMERICA. It’s been far too long. I should thank you, perhaps though. Because if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t have been able to see the power of the gods for myself.”

“RED SKULL! End this now! These people are innocent!” They watch as Maria, Coulson, and an army of Hydra operatives lined up behind them. “There doesn’t need to be blood-shed.”

“Hardly Captain. Not when you have an Asgardian Prince here on your side! You were expecting me I see! I shall get what I came here for! The girl-“

“Holds no power for you,” Tony cut in. “I’m not in the sharing mood, and neither is she.”

“Stand down now, demon. And I might let you live,” Thor threatens, his hammer pointed at the skull, with Loki at his back, hands glowing green, prepared to attack.

“The prince of the galaxy, threatens me in a way that I feel that those stories I’ve heard of him in war are untrue.” The people behind him start laughing. “You see, I don’t want to harm the beautiful girl. I just need her help.”

“You won’t get that, Skull. Back down.”

“Or what Captain? We’ve had this discussion before, I’m afraid. And you see. I just can’t bring myself to care.” He scans the room, and his eyes lock on Bucky’s. “Zola’s finest accomplishment, the scientist’s lover. How about this? If I don’t get her peacefully, I’ll send him to kill her, himself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my companion pieces to this story. I Need You and "Seriously James?!" 
> 
> And of course let me know what you think...
> 
> Vote for which story you want to see next between these three titles.... Leave your choice in the comments. 
> 
> Little Monster- Three year old. Ava isn't thrilled to wear a dress to Steve/Darcy/Sam's wedding. 
> 
> Charm- Bucky discovers that Ava has inherited his legendary charm and he's got to fix it fast 
> 
> Iron Baby- Tony's on babysitting duty and chaos commences. 
> 
> Also... I have a picture of Ava Barnes, and she's BEAUTIFUL, but I'm not quite sure how to post it here.. So.. Yeah. I'm stuck.


	9. War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well for starters. You were dating, right? You’re probably not anymore.”
> 
> “I didn’t mean-,”
> 
> “Bucky. I thought we cleaned this all out of you. What the hell triggered you? And how could he do it so fucking far away?”

“What’s the play, Cap?” That was Sam, putting everyone at attention. Even the Asgardians were a little less boastful.

 Steve looked around at his team, stopping at Bucky. “You sure about this, Buck?”

Bucky nodded seriously, eyes turning to slits as he watched the villain. “That bastard just threatened my girlfriend. Tear the bastard apart.”

 “Stark. I need containment. That portal. There’s no telling if anything else is going to come through. You and Sam take out the strays, the runners, anyone trying to get away from this level. Anyone could be heading for the upstairs at any certain time, Skull is going to make it someone not so obvious. Stay on them.”

“Got it.” Tony flew up to the rafters as Sam nodded at Bucky one more time, making sure he was ok, before he did the same.”

“Hulk,” Steve paused when he heard a grunt over the com. “Hulk. Stay put. The girls need you there. When they’re ready to use the equipment bring them down. Do NOT leave their sides. Any strays get up there, tear them apart.”

“Nat. Coulson and Maria. You’ve trained with them. You know their weaknesses, strengths. You and Clint, subdue them. I want a turn with them.”

“Thor, you and your friends are on the floor with me. I’ve seen you fight. We need all the power we can get hand to hand. Red Skull isn’t a slouch. Let’s show them what we got. And Loki?”

Loki looks up a small grin on his face as he looks back and forth between him and the skull. “At your service.”

“Welcome to the team. I need you. Allusions. Back up. All of it. He’s never fought a magician before. If Jane comes down, you’re on duty with the Hulk.”

Loki’s eyes go wide, then turn to a darker green than before. “Jane is my sister. I will protect her until my last breath.”

“Good to know,” Steve nods and looks around. “Let’s kick some fucking ass.”

_“Cap. Language.”_

_“Shut up, Tony!”_

The team was rushed, that’s all that can be used to describe it. Hundreds of Hydra agents, with seemingly limitless abilities, versus them. But Steve didn’t care. He watched with sickening satisfaction as his oldest friend made contact with Red Skull, metal fist to face, and heard a sick crunch.

_“Not fair, Barnes. I wanted to take the first swing.”_

_“Get in line, Stark.”_

_“This is why you have me up here, huh Captain. You want to be the hero?”_

_“Stark,”_ Skull landed a blow to his shield and threw him back a few feet. He quickly looked for Bucky, and sighed in relief. The soldier had quartered off a twenty foot section and was giving them all a view of just how good he was with a knife.

“ _Damn, Barnes,_ ” they heard a repulsor blast. _“He’s having all the fun! I want to have fun!”_

_“Chill, Shellhead.”_ She delivered a kick to Coulson’s face. “ _One down. A million to go.”_

“I’M ASHAMED OF YOU, CAPTAIN AMERICA! YOU HAVE GROWN SO WEAK. YOU SHOULD REMEMBER,” Red Skull taunts. “CUT OFF ONE HEAD. TWO MORE SHALL TAKE ITS PLACE.” He motions to the portal, as ten more people fly through the portal.

_“Alright. So the math here is funny. We’ve only taken out one so far,”_ another repulsor blast. _“Anyone want to explain the ten that just came down? And where in the hell is Rudolph?”_

_“Loki is helping Bucky!” Steve threw his shield taking out three people and an iron legion drone in the way._

_“Damnit Steve! That’s expensive! Don’t wreck my stuff!”_

_“These guys are going to keep coming through, you guys! What the hell?!”_

_“Welcome to the team, Red Bird.”_

_“Shut up, Stark!”_

_“Is anyone at all, still trying to deal with the thing that Cap just said ‘fuck?’ I for one am offended.”_

_“Stark-“_

_“It’s moot point at this time, Steve! We’ve got to shut it down. Until then we’re fighting a losing battle. You remember the Chitauri. These things are going to keep coming! Bruce! ETA on the scanners.”_

_“Ten minutes, Tony,”_ Jane shouted over the yelling. _“I need ten minutes. Darcy is activating the EMP now.”_

_“Great job, descendant,”_ He grins at Sam. “ _She gets that from me.”_ Sam huffed.

Twenty more people descended from the opening, just as Wanda descended from the rafters.

_“Where have you been, Maximoff?”_

_“SHUT UP, STARK!” Natasha and Steve yelled together._

Clint found himself in his nest, with _he wanted to say his name was Fandral?_ He wasn’t sure, but he was letting his arrows do the talking, as Fandral showed off some pretty sick moves with his sword in the rafters, balancing himself as he took down three people _at one time._

_“That’s it guys. I need to get an Asgardian to train me. But seriously Thor? What’s with all the ‘For Asgard,’ nonsense?”_

_“Cap. You got eyes on Ghosty?”_

_“He’s with Natasha. Those two are doing some pretty sick things with her batons, and they’re-“_ Sam swore. “ _Holy fuck! You said they trained together in the KGB. That explains it. If I weren’t so damn pissed off at this skeleton guy, I’d turn them in for cruel and unusual punishment. That’s some sick stuff you guys.”_

_“Stark, you got word from Jane yet? We could really use some help down here! These people are multiplying!”_ Steve threw a guy upward and into the portal, and watched it tear the guy in half as he screamed in horror.

“ _Five minutes. Darcy and Pepper are activating the EMP in two and-,” Tony chuckles. “Oh no. You can’t leave the party yet goon. Stay down. Final warning.”_

_“Stark,”_ Bucky hisses as the woman he’s fighting, burns his neck with her weapon. He curses at him, points up, the picks her up, tossing her into the portal. “Did you just call me, Ghosty?”

_“Barnes. Shh. Daddy’s working. Go ask Mommy.”_

_“Stark!”_

_“Capsicle! Oh.”_

_“Umm guys. Anyone have eyes on the Skull.”_

_“I’ve got him, second floor-“_

_“Thor how’d you get up there,”_ Tony asks. Worried.

“ _Stairs.”_

Tony sighs. _“I’m on my way down. Rhodey, spot me. Hit anyone coming through.”_

_“On it. War Machine, in the building.”_

_“Rhodes,” Clint said._

_“Yeah.”_

_“SHUT UP,”_ Bucky, Natasha, and Clint shout unanimously.

“ _Man. Everyone’s a critic.”_

Jane was sure they would work, as she followed the Hulk, and _Loki_ down the stairs. She’d refused his offer to teleport her down there, his last magic trick still left her a little queasy. She made it to the bottom of the stairs when Iron Man landed in front of her, and lifted his face mask.

“Will it work?”

“Well this is the trial run, so I damn well hope so.”

“Go get it spawn.”

“God you’re an awful, awful person to give me a pep talk.”

“You need a pep talk. Talk to Cap. He’s the mommy.”

_“I’m not the mom- Son of a bitch!”_

_“Cap just said a bad language word.”_

_“Stark.”_

_“Yes, Dear.”_

Jane followed Loki, the Hulk _on her six?_ as she got as close to the portal as she possibly could. The sound was deafening. And the bodies on the ground, still oozing blood as the life left them. Why was this even worth it?

“This is as close as I am allowing you, Jane.”

“Thanks, Loki. This is fine.”

The Hulk huffed.

“You guys can sort out your marital spat later. _WE_ have a world to save.”

She was just about to turn the dial which would send out a pulse, bounce off the walls after hitting a tower, and _hopefully_ close the hole, when she felt a metal hand cover her mouth. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t scream. She looked around to find the Avengers, but all she saw was black, _again._

And the slate grey eyes of The Winter Soldier.

 

_“SOMEONE WANT TO TELL ME WHERE MY DAUGHTER WENT? AND SOMEONE ELSE WANT TO TELL ME WHO THE HELL ACTIVATED THE GODDAMNED WINTER SOLDIER?”_

The tower was eerily quiet. The rest of the Hydra soldiers all falling to their knees in surrender. _A ploy._

“ _Thor. Report on the Skull.”_

_“He’s gone. Vanished in air.”_

_“Son of a bitch, not again.”_

_“Stark.”_

_“Find my fucking daughter, Captain. Before Ice Man 2 fulfills the prophecy.”_

“Thor. The bridge.”

“Loki we can’t call it down right now. Not in the middle of a battle. Heimdall won’t allow it.”

“No but she can. If she’s alive. She can call to it.”

“You were supposed to be protecting her! You weren’t to let her out of your sight!”

“As was the monster! I am a master of allusions! I am not a master of reading them!”

 

“Steve. This is bad. If someone activated him, from this far a distance. He’s got to have a chip implanted, because I know we’ve gotten this all out of him Steve, psychologically. We’ve got to hurry. If Red Skull has his way, Jane won’t survive. Bucky will kill himself if that happens.”

Natasha runs up to the group. “I don’t know what happened, Steve. He was right next to me. Then he was gone.”

“Stark,” Steve started. “What do we know about portals?”

“That would be a negative, Capsicle. Never felt like studying them after I, you know, flew into one. That was Jane’s thing.”

“And even if we could open one, they could be anywhere,” that was Betty. They heard Darcy and Pepper crying in the background.

“Steve. Space is huge. And probably the only one who could make it smaller, is the one person who we need to save. ASAP.”

 

“James. James please,” she ducked as the metal fist came flying at her. She didn’t understand what had gone wrong. She’d been standing there, ready to close the portal. Then she was gone. Red Skull was floating in a distance, and it was her and _James._ “James. Listen to me. _Please.”_ This time the metal fist made contact and she lost consciousness as she made contact with the hard ground.

 

Odin was beside himself. “Disappeared? Again? Find her. And bring the demon to me. I’ll take care of him, and send him to Hel once and for all.

Yggdrasil trembled in anticipation. The Red Skull had been causing trouble, for far too long.

 

Tony sat in the War Room, staring straight ahead as Thor reported. “There are Asgardian troops all over Yggdrasil right now, looking for her. She is in the same place she was before, Odin believes.”

“Then have Odin send them to her.”

“He doesn’t know exactly. Heimdall. She is but a blur.”

“How did you get her last time,” Steve asked.

“We didn’t. The bridge responded. She called for it.”

“Well then why hasn’t it responded now,” Sam wondered out loud.

“She can’t call for it, if she can’t talk,” Natasha replied. A frown wrinkling her forehead.

Tony put his head into his hands as Pepper rubbed his back. Darcy stared ahead, eyes rimmed with tears.

“It’s been three days. Three fucking days, Pep,” Tony cried, and the whole room looked away.

“I know, baby. I know.”

 

Jane could only issue one final plea to her lover, and one to Heimdall. Her arm was broken. She was sure her face was black and blue. And if Red Skulls vision was to have The Winter Solider beat her to death, then he was definitely winning. She couldn’t cry anymore. She’d like to think she was strong enough to withstand this until someone came for her. She’d also like to think that this was a horrible nightmare, and that the man she loved was brainwashed into killing her.

But she knew she didn’t live in a perfect world. And if this was the way she was going to die. Well. Just look at the view.

The flash of light came, just as his boot met her ribs, lifting both of them up, as she heard Red Skull’s screams of horror.

 

Jane felt the cool floor, and a gentle pair of arms lifting her. She could hear Steve and Sam talking to Bucky as he called out her name. “JANE. Oh god.” She could only stare at the ceiling.

Tony was talking to her, but she couldn’t listen. She felt him transfer her into a soft bed. _Med bay. Pain medicine. Hallelujah._

They stuck an IV in her arms, and she fell asleep.

 

Steve pulled a motionless Bucky to the detainment room and strapped his arm to the chair, followed by the rest of his body. His eyes were back to blue. His face, _despondent._ Sam took the lead. Steve didn’t have the heart.

“Do you know where you are, Bucky?”

Bucky looks around but doesn’t say a word. His breathing hitches. “Jane?”

“Is alive. Barely.”

He flinches. “I didn’t mea-“

“Tell us what happened, Bucky.”

“I don’t remember.”

“In space?”

“I don’t remember.”

“What _do_ you remember?”

“Black. Jane. Crying for help.”

“What else?”

“I have to see her.”

“You can’t see her. She’s seriously injured. You did a good job on her.”

Steve flinches. “Sam.”

“He did! You think Stark is going to allow him anywhere near her for a while? You think the first thing Jane wants to see when she wakes up, is him? The situation is a little bit more complicated right now, Steve. We have to be realistic.”

“Realistic,” Bucky asks.

“Well for starters. You were dating, right? You’re probably not anymore.”

He inhales swiftly. “I didn’t mean-,”

“Bucky. I thought we cleaned this all out of you. What the hell triggered you? And how could he do it so fucking far away?”

“Jane?”

“She’s in the medical unit, Bucky. Answer Sam’s question.”

“I don’t know. I have to see her. Make sure she’s alright.”

“It’s not that easy, Bucky.”

“I love her.”

“Bucky,” Steve sighs. “I just don’t know what to do, anymore.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This KILLED me to write. I'm in tears.  
> Review!


	10. Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But my daughter woke up, and Peggy was there. Peggy has a way of putting things into perspective. Peggy understands humanity, and she’s passed that onto Bobbi, who passed that onto her daughter. My daughter. And don’t Sir me. I trusted you with her. And you broke her. And most guys, I can fuck up, but you I can’t. Want to know why? Because I understand what being fucking brainwashed feels like. And I understand that you didn’t have control. And THAT. FUCKING. SUCKS."

Jane was going to be ok. A broken arm. A few broken ribs. Bruises all over. But she would survive. _His little girl would survive this._ Tony kept vigil at her bedside for three days, before Pepper could eventually pull him away for a shower and a full dinner, and only because Bruce had agreed to stay with her until he came back.

There were times that he really loved his best friend.

He kept replaying where he had gone wrong, where _they_ had gone wrong during the battle. They were winning weren’t they? How had the demon gotten ahold of Barnes in the first place?

Steve said Banes wasn’t doing much better, which resulted in the Captain receiving a good punch to the face. He hadn’t wanted to hear that. He almost killed his daughter. But Pepper got a hold of him.

He understood, as much as he hadn’t wanted to. But even so. His daughter was broken, and that was a tough pill to swallow. He’d denied Bucky any chance to see her. Truthfully. It wasn’t his decision any more. Bruce and Betty had agreed, that if she woke up, and he was there, no one was sure how she would react.

This was the best way to protect her for now. At least here and now, he could keep his baby girl safe.

_Even if it was just a little bit._

Sam was losing his mind. It’d been three days, and Bucky wasn’t saying anything. He was a rag doll as they shuffled him along to various MRIs, labs, testing, physicals, and he hadn’t said a word.

They’d found a chip, in his arm, that was wired to his cerebral cortex, quite frankly the frontal lobe. How the skull had been able to access it was still a mystery, and Sam was pissed he hadn’t known about this sooner.

Steve was fighting a losing battle with Stark to let Bucky see Jane. He didn’t blame the man. But Bucky needed Jane. He _needed_ her. The man was so hungry for information about her. He looked so lost. Steve had managed a couple pictures of her from his last visit, and shown him. They’d never seen the man weep so hard.

He watched as Darcy came in, an air of precaution in her step, as she brought Bucky a change of clothes, and some dry shampoo. He thanked God that she was able to separate Bucky the man, from The Winter Soldier, even if she had slapped him across the face when she first saw him after the attack. She’d pulled him in for a hug right after.

She helped him into a clean shirt. “You’re going to have to change your underwear Barnes. Cause as much as I would love to see you naked, I mean, who wouldn’t? Jane might kill me.” She laughs lightly as she hands him his boxers and a pair of sweats.

“Thanks Darcy,” Sam said as he wrapped her in a hug, when Bucky went off to the bathroom.

She shrugged. “It’s been a bitch of a week. Jane’s been through hell. Bucky is still there. I feel awful. He needs to see her.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “He does. But we can’t override Tony on this, at least right now. Not until she’s awake and able to make her own decisions. Because as much as I agree that he needs to see her, I also agree that she needs to make that call.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“Because. We don’t know where her mind is at. She blacked out so soon after the bridge closed. Darce she could wake up believing she’s still there.” They watched as he came out of the bathroom, and went back to his spot on the couch. She followed him, with a comb and started combing through his hair talking to him.

“I know it looks bad now, Buck. But things will get better. I’m sure of it,” she got the shampoo and worked it through his tangles. “She’s going to wake up, and ask how you’re doing. And we’re going to get her all better. All of us. Cause we’re family. That’s what we do.”

He didn’t respond. Darcy wasn’t expecting him too, but the devastation that marked his face was almost too much for her bare. “Man I’m really sorry, Bucky. I was so worried about her breaking your heart. Of course I didn’t know anything about what had happened to her then. But you did. She trusted you. You got her to talk and you didn’t judge her,” she sniffs. “This is hard on all of us. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. She’ll forgive you. She will. I know it. That’s who Jane is. She’s strong in ways we don’t understand,” She was rambling now. She knew it, but she couldn’t stand the look on his face, or his blue eyes shining when he started to cry. She did the only thing she could think to do.

She wrapped her arms around him, and didn’t let go.

 

Jane blinked at the bright lights above her when she opened her eyes, mumbling “too bright. Off please,” and wasn’t surprised when they dimmed automatically. She felt someone shift beside her and take her hand. “Grandma.”

“I’m here baby. How are you feeling?”

Jane took a deep breath and blows out slowly. “Not as invincible as I’d like to think I am.”

“You’re so much stronger than you think you are, Janessa.”

“I’m at the tower?”

“Yes you are. Tony, I assume will be down here in few minutes. He hasn’t left your side. Pepper finally managed to drag him off for some food and a shower. He was looking too much like Howard for my liking,” she chuckles quietly, so does Jane. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Medicine?”

“Medicine will put me to sleep, won’t it?” Peggy nods, and Jane shifts carefully, her face masking the terrible pain in her ribs, she’s sure her grandma caught it, she couldn’t hide anything from her. “Did we win?”

“We did baby. You were so brave. The devices worked.”

“Red Skull?”

“We have it on good, terrifying, authority from Thor that his punishment is being seen out by Odin. As much as Odin doesn’t like to interfere with the affairs here on earth, he was actually much looking forward to being a grandfather. And I say terrifying, because I’ve never seen Thor look that gleeful when he said the word punishment. He’s usually much less expressive.”

Jane nods, and shifts again, but can’t get comfortable. Peggy notices and stands. “You need another pillow, darling. For your back?”

“I don’t think so? Maybe-,” she shifts again. “Does this bed sit up a little? Maybe I can move to my side?”

Her grandma helped her adjust a little to her side, careful to avoid any more pain to her rib-cage, and put a pillow to hold her up. Jane let out a sigh of relief. “Yes. I don’t like hospital beds.”

“I know you don’t. But these are much fancier, don’t you think?”

“I still don’t like ‘em.”

“I know baby. Your mother didn’t either.”

Jane huffs. “Mom was never in the hospital.”

“She was in there a few times. Minor injuries. And when you were born of course.”

Jane sighs, and lets the room fall into silence before she responds. “How come you and mom never told me about Tony? And all of it?”

“We were trying to protect you. Obviously we failed, and we shouldn’t have done that. But you cannot blame your mother for this, Janessa. What her and your father had was real. Well as real as it could get. We, Howard and I, we separated them. Tony loved your mom. Bobbi loved Tony. That never changed after all these years. That’s one of the reasons why we couldn’t stop Tony for the limitless funds he put into your account. I think we took his heart when we told him he couldn’t see you. We did what we thought was right. We kept him updated on you. I sent S.H.I.E.L.D. to you when I heard you made contact with Thor, before he could. I couldn’t risk him telling you anything. And you did have a father, Jane. John loved you very much. If there was anything that he got out of him and Barbara’s relationship it was his love for you. He wasn’t planning on getting married. He preferred to have his head in the night sky as much as you still do. But what you had with him was real and pure. He was a father. If you get anything out of this, as much as I want you and Tony to have that sort of relationship, remember who raised you. Do not discredit John Foster.”

Jane was crying now. “I miss him so much, grandma.”

“I know you do, baby. I miss him too. He was a good son, and he did a damn good job seeing you through to your potential. He adored you.”

“Was-“Jane wiped at her eyes. “Was his death an accident?”

“Your father passed away with dignity, Janessa. Just as your mother. Be who you are now, but never forget where you came from. They’d be so proud of you today.”

Jane nods and stares at the wall. “Is everyone ok? From the battle?”

“There are a lot minor wounds. But we expected that. We didn’t expect the amount of broken hearts. They feel like they failed you.”

“They didn’t fail me.”

“You’re talking about a stubborn group of warriors, who are used to being invincible, darling. It’s not that easy.”

“James?”

“He’s the worst out of all of them.”

 

Tony raced down the halls, dragging Pepper, and holding a half-eaten sandwich in his hand, dodging security and the Avengers alike, as he ran to the Medical Bay, not stopping when a nurse gave him a dirty look until he made it to his daughter’s room and stopped.

She was awake, kind of on her side, hugging her pillow that lied under her head.  She looked up at him, smiled, and then laid her head back down. “Hi Tony.”

“Hi sweetheart. Friday said you were awake. I wanted to be here when you woke. I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head and sniffs slightly. “Grandma was here. We talked.”

“What did you talk about?” Tony found a chair and pulled it close to the bed where he was able to sit as close to her as possible short of crawling in and holding her for dear life.

“You. My mom. My dad. Family. All of it.”

“What did she say?”

“She said to be who I am, but don’t forget where I came from.”

Tony nods, “She’s a smart lady.”

“Yeah she was.”

“John Foster was a good man, Jane. He filled in where I couldn’t. He raised you. You’re a great, beautiful, stubborn, though that might come from your mother’s side,-“they shared a laugh. “Smart, loving, kind hearted woman. That’s something he installed in you. Your mother and I agreed on that. But I’d at least like a chance to fill in where he left off. You’re all I’ve got left for family, Jane. I know it’s been a crappy year. But I want to make it through this. I want to make sure that you know that you’re coming first. You’re still that same little girl I saw in the hospital room hours after you were born. You took my heart then, and you’ve never let go.”

Pepper was crying, and brushing through Jane’s hair, so he reached across the bed, and grabbed her hand as well. “You’re _our_ girl. We both have fought for you. We’re always going to be here.”

Jane couldn’t cry anymore, if she could she’d be bawling like a baby, she was sure of it. She also knew that Tony needed as much reassuring as he possibly could get at this time, because he was as broken as she was. She squeezed his hand, and he nearly sobbed. He put his head down in the bed next to her, and she ran her fingers through his hair with her good hand, while Pepper fussed around the room, making sure everything was straightened up.

“You’re going to be here for a few days, Jane. They want to monitor you, and we thought it was best that they didn’t release you until we were sure, everything was ok,” Pepper said as she took a seat next to Tony. “You probably hate hospitals as much as your father, but you’re more sensible, I think.”

Jane nods and shifts. “The beds are uncomfortable and the-“ She was interrupted by Tony standing up. “I’ll fix that. Friday, how soon can we get a new bed here-“

“Tony it’s fine!”

“Nope. No. You need to be as comfortable as possible.”

“I’ll be fine, Tony. No need to call all the furniture stores in New York. I’m fine. I’m just a wimp when it comes to pain.”

“Pepper she needs medicine.”

“I’m fine! I didn’t want any just yet. I just wanted to talk. I assume I’ve been asleep for days. I don’t like pain medicine. It puts me to sleep.”

“If you’re hurting, you should take it.”

“I will, if I need it. I promise.”

Her response seemed to appease him, a little, enough to calm him down, and make him take his seat again.

“Tony. I need you to be honest with me.”

“Ok shoot kid. What do you need?”

“James. How is he?”

Tony stiffens, and Pepper rubs his back. “Jane maybe we should talk about that later.”

“Tony. I need to know.”

“Jane the man almost killed you.”

“Yeah. He did. But it wasn’t his fault.”

“Jane. Don’t you think I realize that? That doesn’t stop me from knowing that you were a few blows away from death. Jane-“

“Where is _he_ , Tony?”

“He’s in the tower. Probably with Steve and Sam.”

“How is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“I need to see him.”

“Later. You can see him later.”

 

When Darcy got word from Friday that Jane was awake and asking for her over the com in the kitchen where she, Sam, Steve, and Bucky were eating, she nearly let out a sob of relief when she stood up quickly. He chair dragging across the floor as she raced to the door, tumbling over several pairs of shoes, books, bottles, weapons. _Yeah. The place needed a good cleaning._ She wasn’t expecting Tony Stark to be at her door when she opened it to run into the hall.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in, Lewis?” Darcy winced. She much preferred _Wrangler_ coming from him. Tony gave nicknames to deem affection. Right now, she guessed, he wasn’t in the mood, and she understood. But man, that hurt.

She stepped aside, and let him in closing the door behind them, and followed him into the kitchen. “Jane’s awake? Friday just said something.”

He runs a hand through his hair, and she’s struck with how old he looks. He’s lost a few pounds, his eyes had dark circles around them, and his face was drawn. If anyone believed that Tony Stark didn’t love his daughter, they only needed to see him now. He’d been maintaining vigil over her, and Darcy could still remember the way he lifted her broken body into his arms after the bridge closed. His eyes that night haunted her, haunted them all.

Of course he’d spent the last few days avoiding them, except Steve. But Steve and Tony were the Avenger's leaders. And if Steve wanted Tony to hear him out, the creative little shit that he was, found a way to be heard. Didn’t mean that Tony responded to any demands. But how could he?

Darcy still didn’t know what she felt about Bucky’s involvement in the attack against her best friend, she didn’t really want to think about it. She loved them both dearly. But _Tony._ Jane is his flesh and blood. His only child. The love of a parent runs deep. It was no different for Tony.

“She’s awake. In pain. Being stubborn as hell. You know, the usual,” he motioned for a seat, and she nodded.

“Sit Tony. You hungry?”

He didn’t respond. He was too busy staring at Bucky, as he stared at his lap. “I should be mad at you, Barnes. This situation sucks so badly. I want to hate you. I want to tie you up to a post and use my suit to beat you to a pulp. Don’t think I don’t realize how powerful you are in a fight, even without being all _winterized_. My daughter nearly died. It’s a miracle she’s alive. I’ve watched over her the past three days, praying for her to wake up, to smile at me, to tell me she was OK, that she was going to make it. That this past week, that this past _year_ wouldn’t affect her heart, her mind, her beauty. I’ve not prayed that much since I was seven, and I broke my father’s favorite motherboard. The one that was used during Capsicle’s creation. And believe me _that_ didn’t help your case at all in my books.”

“Tony-“Sam started.

“But my daughter woke up, and Peggy was there. Peggy has a way of putting things into perspective. Peggy understands humanity, and she’s passed that onto Bobbi, who passed that onto her daughter. _My daughter._ Jane can be frustrating at times, she’s the smartest person I know. She can build devices at a whim, which can defeat alien armies. How is that my progeny? She can survive literal hell, and still have the most amazing heart of any person I ever known, by not talking about her nightmares, or the hell that she’d gone through this entire last year, thinking she was protecting all her loved ones. She pleaded for her child to be taken away, because she couldn’t protect it from death. She lost her mother, and still came through. So it shouldn’t have surprised me after we talked for a bit, she had the nerve to ignore every last one of my pleadings, and ask how the man who almost killed her was doing.”

Darcy rubbed Bucky’s shoulders as he looked up into Tony’s eyes, there were tears. How could there not be?

“Because for some reason, my daughter has the heart of gold her adopted father gave her, instead of the tin that lives in my chest. And she lives by a different set of rules. And maybe, just maybe she’s had enough of everyone lecturing her on what to do. I adore my daughter. I have since the day she was born, and put in my arms, for the brief amount of time I got with her that day. Her first birthday. Her first ballet recital. Her first science fair. School dances. Boyfriends. I was there through it all, even in the background. I could control the unknown variables, _all of them._ Except you. And it pisses me off. I didn’t count on you coming into my tower, and stealing her heart. I didn’t even know you could feel normal, human emotions anymore.”

“Stark,” Sam winces.

“No. It’s my turn to talk,” he turns back to Bucky, who he can see is barely hanging on.

“Sir-“

“And don’t Sir me. I trusted you with her. And you broke her. And most guys, I can fuck up, but you I can’t. Want to know why? Because I understand what being fucking brainwashed feels like. And I understand that you didn’t have control. And THAT. FUCKING. SUCKS. What I don’t understand, is how you didn’t kill her with that first blow. She’s not Steve, or Sam, or Natasha, or even me in my suit. She’s a civilian. How did you not –“

“Couldn’t. Was fighting it.”

“Point is Barnes. She’s awake, and she wants to make sure that you’re ok. And since she’s my baby, I can’t have an issue with that. She can see you, if Steve and Sam are with you.”

The father stood and walked to the door before turning back around. “Make no mistake Barnes. I want to beat your fucking ass right now. But this is for her, and as a father I have to do right by her. I hope one day that you understand that.”

The four people he left in the apartment stare at the door as it closes, when Sam whispers, “I think he just gave us all the shovel talk.” Darcy giggled and it broke the tension.

 

The four of them found themselves outside of Jane’s door, just as Sharon Carter was helping her back into bed. “Maybe you should take that medicine now, Janey. You do need some sleep.”

“I’ve been asleep for three days.”

“You are as stubborn as Aunt Peggy.”

“Well you know. She taught me all I know,” Jane quipped back.

Sharon could only laugh and wave at them as they entered, the three of them blocking Bucky from Jane’s view.

“Hi guys!” Jane’s tone was cheery. Fake cheery. Probably because of the pain, so Darcy let it go. She walked to her slowly and wrapped her arms around the injured woman, while the younger girl sobbed.

“Jane I’m so sorry. How are you feeling? I’ve been so worried. Don’t ever do that to me again. Oh god, your face-“Steve stepped in and calmed her down.

“Darce. Breathe, “as he too wrapped his arms around Jane. “I’m glad you’re here, and awake. We’ve all been worried, doll.”

Jane didn’t answer as she stared at Bucky. “James?”

And that was all it took to break the silent man down as he walked to her. Tears pouring from his eyes as sobbed wrecked his body. “Jane. I love you. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean-“he reached for her hand, and Steve stayed close. “Jane. I couldn’t breathe. I promised you. I promised you I’d protect you. I don’t know what happened. That wasn’t me, Jane. I would never-“he ran a hand through his long hair and stared at her through teary eyes. “Jane. God. I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster, James,” She squeezed his hand. “Have you slept?”

He shook his head.

“Why not, baby?”

“Nightmares.”

Jane inhales, and shifts, trying not to let the pain cross her face. But it’s been a long day. And the pain medicine sounds damn good right now. But she can’t let him think like this. She can’t let this affect him. Because like it or not, she loves him. And while this could have been the most harrowing case of domestic abuse in recent history, most people weren’t brain washed super assassins. And most people wouldn’t be here right now, practically on his knees. And most people didn’t love the way James Barnes did. Or the way she loved him.

“You know what I wish?” She watched him take the seat beside her bed that Sharon offered him and look at her.

“What do you wish?” His voice is still shaky as he tries to push back the tears. “Tell me sweetheart.”

“I wish that I could tell you how much I love you. And how much this whole mess sucks. I wish I could invent a time machine and take us back in time so that neither one of us had to go through this. I wish that you could sleep now, and that I wasn’t in pain. I wish I was in Asgard to watch that egomaniac receive Odin’s wrath. I wish, that I could’ve stopped him, before-“she sobs, and he squeezes her hand.

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

“We all are, Jane. You don’t need to worry about anything. If you need to rest-“Jane shook her head to cut Steve off.

“I wish we were normal,” she whispered so softly that James leant in and kissed her hand. “And I wish you wouldn’t look at me with pity. That’s the last thing I want. I wish that you would kiss me like you mean it. So I know that we’re back, and this is real, and that I’m not losing my mind.”

“Baby-,”

“Damnit it James,” She uses her good arm to pull him to her, and he goes to her willingly, crashing his lips to hers as tears stream down both of their faces. “I love you. I’m sorry. We’ll get through this.”

“Jane this isn’t on you. It’s me.”

“No. It’s us. Me and you. Because you’re the one that I want. And I’ll be damned if I let anything come between us again. Ok? We’ll get through this. I promise. Trust me.”

“Sweetheart. You know I already do.”

Darcy watched the couple reunite and pulled her boyfriends and Sharon just outside the room to give the couple privacy and a few minutes alone to regain their composures. She needed it too. What she just witnessed, wasn’t what she was expecting, and she guessed that Steve and Sam had thought the same thing.

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” Sam let out a shaky breath. “Yeah. Wow. She’s tough.”

“Takes a stronger woman to deal with a strong man,” Steve stepped in and wrapped his arms around Darcy, as Sam followed. “We have proof of that daily.”

“They’re both so broken.”

“They’ll get through it. And we’ll be right there to help.”

“He’s relapsed. Jane hasn’t dealt with this side of Bucky yet, Steve.” Darcy warned.

“No. But I get the feeling that she understands him, better than he understands himself. That right there,” he points to the room. “If that right there isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.”

They all nodded in agreement, when Sharon said she was going to go in and say her goodbyes to her cousin. She had hundreds of reports for the CIA that she needed to get caught up on, all pertaining to this week’s events, but concern for her cousin caused her to put them off. “If she needs anything, you know where to find me. Take care of them.” They followed her back in and stopped.

Jane was back to lying on her back, Bucky laying at her side, his arm wrapped around her, her head against his shoulder, and his chin in her hair, protecting her, as they slept soundly.

“Well,” Sharon paused. “I’m guessing his hugs are better than all the pain medicine in the world.”

Steve took the chair his friend was using as Darcy and Sam found chairs of their own, remembering their promise to Tony, as they sat there on guard. No one denying that what the couple needed was touch, and sleep, and love.

Love the way only they knew how.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still time to vote for Iron Baby. Charmed. Or little Monster. This story is almost at an end, and I'm sad about that. But my headcannon is still continuing for this couple. I love them, broken or whole. They're my otp.


	11. Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because when the fog lifted, he wanted it all. He went on dates. Never amounted to anything. He told me one day, he said, “Steve, I’m ninety-eight years old, don’t you think it’s time I settled down?

Steve startled awake in the middle of the night, and noticed in the dim light that his friend was sitting up in the hospital bed, Jane protected under the crook of his arm, staring at him. His eyes haunting, as if the hell of the last week had finally caught up with him. And suddenly, _maybe,_ his friend wasn’t just looking at him at all.

He was watching him.

Watching him with the alertness of The Winter Soldier not in fight mode. In _protective_ mode. Bucky had told them story after story of the missions that had led to so much destruction. He also had side stories about protecting doctors when something went wrong. Protecting handlers when their human weapons turned on them. And Bucky helped them make it out. _Every single time._

He assumed, if there was a time, that Bucky felt he did something good for Hydra, it was the time where a human life wasn’t snuffed out while under his care. It was the only moments during his time in hell, that gave him peace. And maybe that’s how Hydra could control him for so long. His brain repaired any injury quickly, the serum made sure of that, so much so, that Hydra had to erase him as many as three times a day during a long drawn-out mission. Maybe he saw, and misunderstood that he had done something good during his time, and that they were actually taking care of him.

It hurt Steve that his worst enemies hurt his best friend like that. To have your life all but taken from you, your freedoms, your person? This is what they fought for every day. This is what _he_ fought for his entire life. And Bucky was there, _always there,_ protecting him, backing him up, and telling him what an idiot he was for trying to take on the bigger guys. But he never told him not to stand up. _Never._ Because that’s who Bucky is.

Wasn’t that why he joined the army in the first place? To protect so that people could live. Even in the cocky arroganc of his youth, he knew the importance of taking a stand. So that’s what he did. And soon, Steve followed.

He could’ve went back home after Steve rescued him from the facility. He was a prisoner of war experimented on by the Nazis. He could have gone home, gotten his purple heart, and lived in honor. But the bad guys weren’t gone yet. The war wasn’t over. And James Buchanan Barnes wasn’t about to step down, as long as he could walk, and talk, and breathe. He would never step down. They’d have to kill him first.

Wasn’t that what Hydra did?

Or rather. They’d tried.

Isn’t that what Red Skull did? He knew that Jane and Bucky were together. How? They still had no clue, and probably never would. But he’d mentioned it, hadn’t he? He knew there was no way he could kill Bucky. Oh he tried. But maybe, the one way that Bucky would die, was by his own hand. And killing Jane would have been the beginning and end for him.

Anybody who saw Bucky the last two months would tell you they’d never seen him happier. Steve agreed whole-heartedly, and he knew him for ninety years. Jane was good for him in a way that they hadn’t been able to find yet. Maybe because in Bucky’s mind he was still a young man, in the prime of his life, coming home from war and ready to start something new. A family. And Jane was the beauty his aching heart and mind needed to maybe bring about that reality.

A reality even Steve craved.

So Bucky, after the trauma of what he had done, had been too great, had in fact gone into Winter Soldier mode. It allowed him to forget his thoughts, and just breathe.

But any Winter Soldier mode could be dangerous, and if he was spooked it could do more harm than good.

Just because he protected those doctors and handlers doesn’t mean that someone else didn’t get a face full of metal.

And Steve assumed since he was the one closest to the bed right now, he was public enemy number one. _Well fuck._

He was watching him now, blue eyes now Grey, so Steve held up his hands. “It’s ok Buck. I’m not going to hurt her. She’s my little sister. I love her. I just want to make sure she’s ok, and not in pain. Can I check the bandages around her side?”

He watched as his friend studied him, and he kept his hand up, until Bucky monotoned, “weapons?”

“None Buck,” Steve turned his pockets inside out, and turned for his friend to see. “I just want to make sure she’s comfortable and ok. I won’t hurt her. I promise.” He watched Bucky’s eyes go from grey, to blue, to grey again before he nodded his consent, his gaze never wavering as Steve came closer.

He ignored the scrutiny for a minute and helped Jane move back onto her back, whispering to her as she moaned. “Jane. It’s me, doll. Just want to make sure that your bandages are alright. You’ve been asleep for six hours.”

He watched in amusement as she came too, and was struck by her beauty. _Peggy._ In that moment, she looked just like her grandmother, which almost made it hard to breathe.

He didn’t pretend to understand the basis of her family genealogy, but knew in a line of beauty, brains, and toughness, she had inherited all three. _Peggy was all three._

“Steve,” she rubbed at her eyes with her good hand and mumbled. ”Whattimeisit?”

“Two a.m., doll. We’re all here. Do you need anything?” He examined the bandage on her side, the bleeding had stopped, and the bandage still looked fairly good. She’d probably need it changed in a couple hours, but the less he could jostle her now, the better.

She looks from him, to Bucky, notices his eyes who haven’t left Steve, and looks back startled. “What the hell happened?”

He chuckles softly. The girl had moxy. “He’s protecting you from me.”

“Why?”

“Because he _needs_ to, Jane. It’s ok. I’m fine with it.”

“I’m not. You’re not going to hurt me.”

He smiles at her and nods sadly, while running a hand over her head. “He did this for a bit when we got him back to the tower last year. I didn’t understand either. Sam was his ‘mission,’ and everyone else was public enemy number one. He got a kick out of it, because as much as he was in his presence every day, He didn’t really talk. Especially that first month. And Darcy got frustrated because,” he rolls his eyes, “apparently Captain America doesn’t have a kinky side like the Falcon does.” She giggles and he laughs. “Sam told us that maybe this his mind was taking a step back from his reality. He was coming off constant electrocution to the brain, and as much as the serum repairs, he’s still had years of conditioning to recuperate from, and this was easy for him to shift to.

She glances at Bucky and frowns. “I didn’t know.”

“You weren’t here. There was no way for you to see this. And nobody blames you, Jane. You’ve been through your own storm. I think it’s just easy for him not to think so he shifts to this, sometimes. I think this really shook him up, Jane,” He watches as his friend, his eyes still grey, shift around the room. He was listening, Steve knew. But he wasn’t picking up on the basis of the conversation. He was listening to sounds that might affect his mission. Namely, Jane being in pain. He wouldn’t remember this conversation, he would fight through his ‘mission,’ and if he passed, he’d be rewarded. If he failed, he’d be punished. It broke his heart the first time Sam was able to slip away from him. The terrible silence and the distance stare as he waited to be punished, still haunted the three of them to this day.

“He’s been so happy, the last two months. He went from wanting the impossible, to believing he really could have it all. And you helped him with that, no matter how difficult you were,” Steve chuckles. “Because when the fog lifted, he wanted it all. He went on dates. Never amounted to anything. He told me one day, he said, “Steve, I’m ninety-eight years old, don’t you think it’s time I settled down? A girl who comes up to me and gives me her number with a little wink? I don’t want that. I had a good time. But a girl who lets me chase her? When I catch her, it’ll be because I earned her. I want that girl. I want to earn her trust, her heart, and her love.” He still gets onto me and Sam about not making an honest woman out of Darcy already. It’s amazing how open he is to love. I told him about loving Sam and Darcy, and he shrugged it off. He said “you are who you are, Steven.” That was my friend, the _first_ part of my friend.”

She reached for his hand and he took it. “That’s amazing, Steve.”

“Yeah. He’s pretty amazing. But Jane,” he stops. He has to stop. He wipes a tear from his eye before he continues. “But Jane you are too. This last week fucking sucked.” She giggles, and he gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “You can laugh, but it did. You know it did. And I kept thinking, if you died. I’d lose my sister and my best friend. If you survived, I’d lose my sister and my best friend. He would’ve killed himself if you hadn’t survived, Jane. He wouldn’t have wanted to live.”

“Steve.”

He shakes his head and continues. “When you guys got back. The bridge closed, I saw your body and Tony was a mess. And Bucky had woken up and saw you. His eyes? God Jane. Sam even said that he didn’t think you would survive the relationship. And Tony wasn’t letting Bucky in to see you, which I understood,” he runs a hand through his cropped hair. “We didn’t want you to wake up and see him there, and think that it was still happening. It was a good call. I was so worried for you doll. I prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I prayed for you, and Bucky, and all of us. My ma told me to pray when I ran out of words. That God knew what was on my heart. So I did.”

Jane nods, and squeezes his hand, before looking back to Bucky. The man was watching them again. Still silent. Eyes still Grey. “Steve. You’ve been through a lot. You’ve been strong for so long. You’re just as traumatized. If you don’t ever talk about it, how’s that ever going to get fixed? That’s what James told me.”

He nods and continues. “I know. It’s just easier when I have reason to, ya’know? Tony told us you wanted to see Bucky, and a weight lifted. You saw Bucky like I saw him. Maybe that’s why he loves you. You’re a stronger human then I’ll ever be, Jane.”

“No,” she laughs. “I just really have a thing for blue eyes and metal arms.”

Steve lets out a guffaw, and Bucky’s on alert again. He raises his hand again. “I’m not hurting her, Pal. She’s ok.” He watches Jane rub his thigh, and watches his friend’s eyes go from grey to blue, as he relaxes.

“Has he slept?”

“He fell asleep with you, I’m not sure how long he’s been up.”

Jane shifts to move herself up, and Bucky goes on alert again. “James. I’m ok. You need to sleep.”

“Not tired.”

“Bullshit,” Jane counters, and Bucky looks at her in surprise, and Steve tries not to laugh. “You need to go. Get something to eat. Get a shower. Trim the beard, it’s not sexy at all, like that James. But on some deodorant. Brush your teeth. And get some sleep.”

“So you’re my handler now,” he hisses and Steve gasps and looks at Jane. This was not a word he’d used in a while, and the fact that Bucky mentioned it now scared him. He watched for her reaction, but her face was expressionless. Darcy mentioned one time that Jane had a way of dealing with difficult men. She had Thor, and Selvig. People in her career always looking down on women. The Avengers. And Bucky was no different.

“I am your girlfriend. And as much as I love you, James Buchanan Barnes, you’re no good to me when you’re tired, hungry, and a little stinky. Now go, now. Before I have Steve physically remove you. And don’t come back until that check list is complete, I’ll have Friday lock the med bay doors to you, I’ll do it.”

“But Jaaane-“Steve couldn’t even stop his laughter then, he let it out, waking up Darcy and Sam in the process.

“Don’t whine, it’s not sexy. Get out of here. And if I ever see your eyes turn that grey again, I will personally beat your ass.”

“But doll-“

“No.”

“Jane.”

Steve watched as Jane handled his friend with the expertise of a mother handling a difficult child, and had a vision of a tiny, brown-haired, blue eyed girl, telling her mama that she didn’t want to wear _that_ dress.

He shook his head, _weird._ He feels Sam nudge him and mouth _what’s going on,_ as he pointed to the bed. “Bucky went into soldier mode-“Sam gasps and Steve holds up his hand to stop him. “He was protecting her. Wouldn’t let me see her bandages. She’s currently handing him his ass on a platter, as Darcy would say.”

“Well then,” Sam sits back down. “Got any popcorn,” he asks as Darcy climbs in his lap.

“Jane you’re injured. I have to protect you. This is my fault.”

“Yeah you did it. But it isn’t your fault.”

“Jane.”

“I swear, if you don’t go and go through that list I just gave you, when I get better,” her voice drops to a whisper as she has Bucky lean in. “That new thing you like to do in the hot tub will never, _ever_ be done again. And that’s a promise soldier.”

As much as the three other ears in the room tried to understand what she’d said. They were all amused when Bucky jumped up and gave a “Yes, ma’am.” Before bending down, and kissing her gently. And walking out the door. They looked back at her in shock.

“What the hell,” Darcy exclaimed.

Jane said nothing, just shooed them out. Go. Get some sleep. And Steve. You’re in charge of the list. You’re just as stubborn as he is.”

“Yes ma’am.”

The three took turns hugging her, and promising to return in the morning, _well the later morning,_ and found Bucky waiting for them at the elevators, waiting impatiently for the group to hurry up.

They all climbed in and waited in silence as the elevator took them to the top part of the tower where the apartments were located, when Sam had to ask. “What the hell, Barnes? How did she get you to comply so easily?”

He only shrugged, his hands in the pocket as he looked ahead. “I like the thing.”

 

Jane woke when the doctor came to change the bandages, and check her vitals. A glance at the clock on the wall by the tv told her it was nine, a glance to her right told her she wasn’t alone.

Tony was there.

“Hi, sweetie. How do you feel?”

“I feel good. Not so much pain, just tired.”

“Good,” he smiles and leans forward and studies her face for a moment. “Jane. You need to know that, while I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue this relationship with Barnes, I’ll always be supportive of it. He’s had a difficult time, and I’m not blind. He clearly loves you-“

“Yeah,” she breathes. “Yeah he does.”

Tony nods. “If you ever, and I repeat, ever need anything. Anything at all. That goes for the both of you. You let me know, understand? Whether it’s a therapist that’s _not_ Sam. A new lab. A vacation. A fifty thousand dollar wedding dress-“

“Tony,” she giggles.

He smiles. “You laugh, but I’m being serious. There’s no doubt in my mind now that he’s the one for you. And as much as I want to stop all of this from happening, that’s not in the cards. Don’t think I didn’t hear about you handing his ass to him on a silver platter this morning. He’s been a funk for days, rightfully so. But even Steve couldn’t get him to do that.”

“He said something about me being his handler,” she laughs. “I’m not sure what that means.”

Tony sighed and moved his chair closer. “Barnes was kept in cryostasis in between missions. You know what that is?”

“He was frozen.”

“Yeah. To preserve his body and his youth in between missions. Hydra had planned on surviving a very, very long time. They’d defrost him, and Jane, I’m not a heartless human being. I’ve seen the videos passed down from place to place where he was kept. He was in so much pain, and that wasn’t the worst of it. I guess imagine, the worst brain freeze you’ve ever imagined, combine that with frost bite, and the being buried alive in snow and not being able to breathe. He cried out. He yelled. They had to keep him chained so he wouldn’t hurt anybody in rage as he came out of it.”

“Oh my God,” her eyes go wide.

Tony nods and continues. “I prayed too when I watched it. Right after they declared him actually alive, they’d take him from the chains. And you could tell, he knew. He _knew_ something wasn’t right. They kept on calling him asset, and he say ‘My name is Bucky.’ He’d ask where he was. He’d ask where Steve was. The serum was, is an amazing thing. It repaired him during the freeze to be an actual human being. They protected their doctors with a group of about fifteen heavy hitters, ready to shoot if he decided to not comply. They’d hook him to this chair, and this thing would come up over his head, and electrocute the shit out of him. He’d scream. He’d fucking scream, baby. Sometimes, I couldn’t watch. But it wasn’t fair to him to fast forward through all that crap. So I watched. And each time I did, I wanted to fucking torture every single doctor that ethically wanted to be a part of this. Doctors are supposed to be healers. Not cause pain in this torture.”

“Steve said they sometimes had to fry him three times a day. Depending on how long the mission lasted.”

“Yes. And each time, he’d get more agitated. His arm had a kill switch that I found and took out automatically. I didn’t want to risk anyone hitting the button to that switch. He was sedated of course. After he had his mind wiped, the guy who would give him his mission would come in and recite a list of words. That activated him. You saw it. And he’d say it ‘Ready to comply.’ If he didn’t. They’d fry his brain again, he wasn’t wiped enough. The guy who gave the orders, that was his handler. His boss, you could say. The person who had all the control over him. Fucking sadistic bastard.”

Jane’s eyes go wide, and she covers her mouth. “No. I can’t be that.”

“You’re not, baby. And Steve said you did a good job on not letting the conversation go to that point. You gave him a list of commands, and gave him a choice to follow them or not. Obviously you were pretty convincing,” Tony smirks, and Jane blushes. “But he slept for three straight hours after. Which is something he desperately needed.”

“He’s been having nightmares.”

“Oh baby,” Tony sighs and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head. “This is only the tip of the ice berg. You have a long way to go. _We all_ have a long way to go. You’re not in this alone, honey. I promise.”

“Thanks, dad,” Jane sighs in relief, and notices her slip, but decides not to care, when Tony hugs her tighter and kisses her again.

“Love you, sweetheart.”

 

The next time she woke up, she looked and it was noon. She sighed and turned on her side. James was there. Washed and shaved, and looking sexy as hell as he stared at her. She could see Steve standing guard in the hall, but mostly they were alone.

“Hey, you look like you now.” He watches her for a bit, then smirks amused. “You get any sleep?”

He nods.

“You eat?”

Another nod.

“You showered.”

Again. A nod.

“James,” she sighs. “Talk to me, please.”

He shifts, and tugs at the leather jacket that covers his shirt, and she may have inwardly squealed. If it weren’t for the fact that he was worrying the shit out of her, she might have drooled a bit. Ok. She definitely drooled a bit. But the blue-eyed, metal armed, bad boy attractiveness was sometimes too much to take in at once.

“Why aren’t you mad at me,” his accent is thick. _Brooklyn_ thick. She half expects the lindy music to start playing.

“Because _THIS_ wasn’t your fault, James. Because I’m so pissed off about what happened to you. And because I know, out of all of us, you suffered the most.”

“But I hurt you.”

“We discussed this too.”

“Jane.”

“No, James. I’m not going to let you blame yourself, ok? Because in all this? I can’t help but _not_ blame you. I haven’t blamed you for this _ever_ ok. So just let it go. Please, baby. The sooner you realize this, the sooner we can get back to feeling better, both of us.”

“Jane,” he breathes, and moves closer. His face is near hers now, and she reaches out and strokes his cheek.

“I know. I love you too.”

She hears crying outside the door.

Then a kick, and Bucky looks out in irritation.

Followed by an “OUCH DARCE,” that could only come from Steve.

Then a whispered, “Shut the fuck up, you two. They’ll hear you. Barnes has better hearing than Steve!” Which was Sam.

And Jane couldn’t help but giggle softly, as Bucky looked at her amused. “The three musketeers. Always ruining a perfectly good moment.”

He leaned back and stared at her slightly in eye, his eyes shifted grey, and she told him to ‘knock it off.’ He studied her a few more moments, before leaning forward again. “I can think of a way to help.”

“Oh yeah,” she looks at the door, catches Darcy peeking around the corner catching her eye, and tries not laugh when the younger woman moves back behind the wall trying not to be seen.

“She see you? What are they doing? Did she kill him?” Sam was worse than both Steve and Darcy sometimes.

“Shut up, Sam,” That was Steve, which was followed by another kicking sound, and what sounded like a smack upside the head followed by Sam crying out, which sounded like a screech, as he tried to contain it.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I got ya somethin’” _Oh yeah. The Brooklyn was thick today._

“What’s that, James?”

He stands and pulls something out of his pocket, and her eyes widen. There was no mistaking the black box, or the sudden increase in his breathing. And the way he shoved his flesh hand through his hair, as he gave her a nervous smirk, and licked his lips. Or how he let out a deep, _nervous_ breath he’d been holding as he watched her react.

“I talked to your father, a couple hours ago. He gave me the shovel talk. Well he gave it to me again. Thing is. I wasn’t expectin’ to be this nervous. And now I can’t speak.”

She slides up in bed with all the strength she can muster and smiles. “Tell me what you’re thinkin, James.”

He runs a hand through his hair, _again_. “I'm bein’ honest when I say that I don’t deserve you doll. But I keep thinkin’ that even though that’s true, I’m selfish enough to say that I don’t care. Never been this dizzy for a dame before. I’ve been through a lot. But you already know that,” he breathes out a nervous laugh. “Damn. I keep on repeating myself.”

She looks at him and his shaking hands, as he shifts from side to side.

“My Pops would kill me if I didn’t get on my knee when asking a dame to be my wife,” his eyes widen, and he reaches for the remote to the bed, and pushes the down button.

Jane watches him in amusement as the bed goes as far to the ground as it can go and watches him shuffle a few more times. Turn around and curse. Then turning back around, and getting on one knee. “I’ve been under someone’s command for a long time. But this is all me. Pops always told me that a wife was the strongest part of her husband. That he was the head, and that she was the neck that turned the head and held it up. And I was thinkin’ bout that. And how since I met you, nobody else has come close to making my heart beat like you. And how you could easily turn me down, and break my heart, and I’d love you for the rest of my life. That’s the kind of love Ma and Pops had.”

Jane didn’t cry. Well she did. But she tried really hard not to.

“I keep thinkin’ that I’m not worth the trouble-“

“James,” she breathes.

“But I know if I died tomorrow, that I would have died having the love of the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.”

She hears a sob in the hallway. Another kick, and Steve hissing, “Darcy stop doing that!”

“I’m far from perfect, Sweetheart. But I can promise you that as long as I live, I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you. And I know we have a long way to go. But I want you, on my side. As my _wife._ If I’m lucky enough for you to say yes.”

He opens the box, and the stunning, yellow diamond struck her. But his eyes struck her more. The love pouring from them, as he holds the box in shaking hands. And she wipes the tears from her eyes as she nods, slowly. “Yes. James.”

“Yes?” There’s a sparkle that comes across his face.

“Yeah, baby.” She opens her arms and he comes to her, and kisses her breathless, as he fumbles with the remote to make the bed rise again. He slides the ring onto her right hand, her left one being injured, and kisses her again, as she slides her hand into his hair. “I love you.”

“I love you. More than you will ever know.”

They hear a squeal, followed by two deep voices saying “Darcy stop.” Followed by a “Fuck you both.”

A kick, and Sam groaned.

Another hit, and Steve hisses. “Stop doing that!”

And the younger brunette is running into the room squealing as she runs the couple squealing. She gives them a hug and jumps up and down. The couple look up amused at the young woman, who stops and says, "By the way, Sam is crying." "Am not," comes a teary reply from the hall. Followed by a laugh that was definitely Steve. Followed by a hit and Steve saying, "Damnit Sam! I'm not a punching bag!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when Bucky shruggs and says "I like the thing." I keep picturing Seb in the Jimmy Kimmel Civil War interview. Jimmy asks him why he lubes his arm when having to put on his metal arm and Seb is just like..."Well, I gotta get in there." *slayed* it's on youtube if you want to go watch (or rewatch,) to catch Bucky's tone.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This story isn't even close to being done. I just got more inspiration. 
> 
> Sooooooooo.
> 
> You all are stuck with me for a bit.
> 
> And as always, pop me a comment in 3...2...1...!
> 
> Thanks!


	12. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because damn it, I’ve told you from the beginning, that you do mean something. Your opinion is valid. Don’t let silence kill us.

Jane was released from the hospital the next day and moved into her father’s care, but an hour later couldn’t deal with his hovering, so she asked to be moved into Steve, Darcy, and Sam’s place. If she couldn’t be at her place, she’d rather be with people she loved. And she adored Sam, Darcy, and Steve.

It was also easier to attend therapy this way anyway.

Sam had wanted to talk to her and Bucky separately, but Bucky really wasn’t letting her out of his sight, so it became a group thing, with Darcy bringing in the snacks. Jane really wasn’t expecting it to be long enough for snacks.

_Apparently she was wrong._

They started with the obvious. _What she was feeling? What she was thinking?_

“I don’t know. Right now, I’m in-between wanting to throw up and wanting a giant hamburger from that place down the street that Steve use to take us to.”

Sam laughed. “Ok. Well, I’m not sure I can help you there. Tell me what you remember.”

She was aware of everyone shifting uncomfortably, and Bucky stared at her with a guilty expression. She wanted to kiss him. To let him know that she loved him. But the moment didn’t warrant that. She shoots him a smile and his eyes widen.

“I remember-“she shifts uncomfortably, “I remember it all. The portal. All of it. I remember dark, and light, and space, and yelling, and laughter,” she shivers.

“Go on.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Jane,” Darcy slides over next to her. “Jane we’re here,” the younger woman holds her close.

“I don’t, Darce. It’s too hard.”

She feels James shift in the seat next to her a few times, and watches him stare ahead.

“Jane. The only way we can help you move forward,” Sam begins. “Both of you. Is by talking about this. Bucky is a grown man. He’s been here before. He can take it. We all can. This isn’t about guilt. We all feel guilty that this even happened. The one who should _not_ feel any guilt at all is you, sweetheart. Bucky knows what happened on his end. The outlier here is what you felt. What was going through your mind? What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Tell us what you were feeling. In space, where we couldn’t reach you. What were you thinking?”

Jane glanced at Bucky again, when Sam broke in. “No Jane. We will get to him. We need you to go first.”

She sighs. “I was scared.”

“Why?”

“You mean I have to explain? What kind of therapy is this?!”

Steve tries not to laugh, and Darcy takes her hand and gives her a reassuring smile.

“Therapy is what you make it. And I’m here to help. Whatever it takes.”

Jane looked at Bucky once more. He was watching her. She inhaled shakily. “I don’t-“Bucky moved next to her.

“Jane. I need to know. I need to know what you’re thinking. What you’re feeling. I need to know, because I have to move forward.”

“But-.”

He shook his head. “Jane. We’re going to be married. You need to trust me with this.”

She sighs, and he moves back to his seat at Sam’s quiet urging, and begins. “I thought I was going to die,” the room shifts and continues. “The first time when it was just the skull, we were in the same place. I recognized the stars when I got a chance to see them in between-,” she breaks into a sob. “Between hits. I don’t know. This was worse. I think. I remember pleading with him, with James. And I thought it would help. And the skull would laugh. _‘He can’t understand you, Sweetheart,’_ he said. _‘This is all your fault,’_ he said. He said that once James had killed me, he would kill him. Two for one special. I tried. _I tried,_ I really did. I called for Heimdall. I tried to reason. I called for my mom. I don’t know. I think I was resigned to die. I’d been there before. With my mom. With the Aether.”

“And what did that feel like, Jane? How did you resign yourself?”

“It sucked. It really fucking sucked. I was happy. I was really happy. I had my family, and my boyfriend, and my friends. I was happy. And then I wasn’t.”

“You woke up, and you talked with Tony?”

“Well, Grandma was there when I first woke up.”

“What do you remember before the bridge opened?”

“It was bright. I was relieved. I thought I was about to die.”

“Why’s that?”

“I couldn’t hold on. I wanted to die.”

“Couldn’t hold on?”

“It hurt so badly. I didn’t know the extent of my injury. I didn’t know how long we’d been there. It’s always dark. I remember passing out, and waking up, and the beating would start again. I kept thinking, this, _this_ would be the last blow. I would finally get to see my mom. I wouldn’t be in pain anymore,” she sobs. “I’d be free and I’d never have to worry again.” She feels Darcy rub her arms.

“The bridge opened,” Sam continues.

“The bridge opened. I didn’t know that it picked us both up. Red Skull screamed. I think it picked him up too. I don’t know. I assume it did because Thor said that he was on Asgard.”

“You didn’t think it picked up Bucky?”

“Yeah.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“I don’t know.”

“The thought that you didn’t think it picked him up, that’s a big statement Jane. What did you feel when you saw it did.”

She inhales. “I was scared.”

“Why?”

“Because he was the Winter Soldier. He was killing me. And I didn’t know how to snap him out of it. I didn’t know where the bridge was going to land us. I just remember falling through the air. And when we landed he was there.”

“What did you think when you saw him there.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not, Jane.”

“Cause it’s not nice.”

“Jane. This is a time for honesty. Not a time for niceness.”

“I didn’t want him there, OK?! Is that what you want to hear? He was killing me! He didn’t recognize me! He was doing the one thing that he _promised_ me he would never do! He didn’t keep me safe! I didn’t want him there! I didn’t know where exactly I was. I think I knew I was in the tower. I remember my da-, Tony picking me up. And I looked over, and he was there. And he said my name. And I didn’t understand. He said my name, but he couldn’t say my name while he was attacking me! What changed? I was mad, and scared, and I was still ready to die. It hurt so badly, Sam.”

“Tell me what happened when you awoke.”

“My grandma was there. And she talked to me.”

“You don’t have to tell us the intimate details of the conversation. Did you talk about Bucky?”

“No I don’t think so. I think I asked about him.”

“What did she say?”

“I don’t remember. I honestly don’t.”

“At that moment. You woke up and asked about him. Or asked for him?”

“I think it was about him. I don’t remember,” she shakes her head. “We talked about my dad.”

“Tony?”

“No. My dad-dad. And my mom. And my mom.”

“Your mom and dad? What about them?”

“Well. She said don’t blame Tony about not being there. Or my mom. Or my dad. She said they didn’t have a choice. My mom-,” her voice breaks off.

“Your mom. Your mom was with you in space the last time. She was with you on the first attack. Talking about her now, has to be tough,” Sam said as he handed her a bottle of water.

“It was,” Jane nods.

“Tell us.”

“My mom was invincible. She was an agent. She worked undercover for military ops and S.H.I.E.l.D. Of course I didn’t know she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. until much later. But she was great. She was a marksman. She took on Hydra. She could do it all.”

“Except the Skull.”

Jane nods and breaks into tears. “How was she able to survive that, and not the Skull? It should have been me. It was my fault. And now she’s not here, because of me! Everything happens because of me! Frigga is gone because of me and the Aether. My mom! Everyone!”

“Jane, this isn’t your fault. None of this is.”

Jane shakes her head.

“Jane. Bad things happen to good people. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all. You are not responsible for any of that.”

“That’s not true.”

“That _is_ true. Your mom was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Yeah,” Jane sighs. “Mockingbird.”

Steve’s eyes widen and he mutters, ‘ _of course.’_

“So I’m assuming she knows of the origins of the Winter Soldier.”

“I don’t know. We never talked about S.H.I.E.L.D. falling out.”

“What about your father? What did she say?”

“That he was my father. That he loved me. And that he died with honor.”

“And what about Tony.”

She shrugs.

“Jane. C’mon.”

“She just said not to blame him.”

“Do you believe her?”

“She’s my grandma.”

“Jane,” Sam implores.

“Of course I believe her. She’s never given me reason to doubt her. She’s always been there.”

“And then you talked to Tony?”

“Yeah.”

“How did that go?”

“I don’t remember much. I asked about James.”

“How did he respond?”

“He didn’t want to me.”

Sam shifts. “Tell me why you asked for him. That’s a pretty big shift in thought. From the bridge closing and you wishing he weren’t there, to when you woke up and wanting to see him.”

She shrugs. “I just thought it was right.”

“You thought it was right, how so?”

“Because I needed to know how he was doing.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t blame him.”

“Why?”

“Because I understand what it’s not like to have control.”

“The Aether,” Darcy asks.

“Yeah.”

“So when you saw him,” Sam intervenes. “What were your thoughts?”

“I wanted to hug him?”

“No second thoughts.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love him.”

“The sight of his arm?”

“I didn’t look.”

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t, at least until I woke up again.”

“You got through to him when he went into soldier mode. Why’s that?”

“I don’t need him to feel guilty about this. He wasn’t in control of his mind and I understand that. He’s been through a lot.”

“You both have.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re trying to make it work.”

She wiped at her eyes. “I want to.” She looks at him, and reaches for his hand and he accepts it with a small smile. “I really want to.”

“So this is where we start,” Sam begins. “You guys will be planning a wedding. A _well-deserved_ one. We’ll work hard to get you all the support you need. We need counseling. I’ll bring in an outside source who specializes in marriage counseling. They will be well-vetted, and know about your situation inside and out. You will talk with them together and separately. You will talk with me together and separately. We will figure out how to resolve these issues. We will figure out the best way to incorporate us as a _family_. We will be there to support you with any issues that arise. We all have a piece in this puzzle, and we will get through this all, _together.”_

The next morning she was sitting alone at the table when James put a take-out box in front of her. She looked at him, and he grinned. His blue eyes bright as he sat down with his own box. “Went to that diner you love so much. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, and sausage, with a large glass of the greatest fresh-squeezed orange juice on the planet.”

“Thanks,” Jane said and she dug into her meal. Bucky ate too, but watched her thoughtfully.

“Jane.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, James. I’m fine.”

He shook his head and pushed his box back. “I don’t think you are. And I don’t blame you. What you said yesterday, about _wanting_ to die. I caused that Jane. _I caused that._ And if you had-,” he ran a hand through his hair and looks off. “If I had done that. There is no way, _no way_ I would have survived. I wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I get it, James,” she sighed.

“No. I don’t think you do. And you’re being very quiet about this. You said a lot during that session yesterday. But you didn’t say what made you change your mind about me. Well you said the Aether, and you understood. But Jane, as much as I want to hope and believe that we can just sweep this under the rug, and put this behind us, we can’t. And we can’t be hesitant with each other.”

“I’m not.”

“Jane. You haven’t let me kiss you since I put that ring on your finger. This is the first time since then, that I’ve been alone with you, and Darcy is in the next room. I tried to kiss you hello this morning, but you found a reason to look away.”

“James-,”

“Jane you do blame me, and that’s ok. I fucked up. I made you these promises that I couldn’t keep. I was supposed to be a man, _your man._ A man you could depend on to keep you safe, and I couldn’t even do that. This has affected you more than you know. More than you’re willing to admit. I don’t blame you at all, that’s not what this is. I think you’re going back, and analyzing everything, and realizing that maybe you spoke too soon.”

“What are you saying? That I don’t know my mind?”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I think you have an excellent understanding of your mind. But I think your mind and your heart are at war with each other right now.”

“That’s not what’s going on. I’m fine.”

“Jane. You’re not fine. And the only way that we’re going to get through this is if we’re one-hundred percent honest with each other.”

“So you’re my therapist now,” Jane snaps, her eyes blazing.

“That’s not what’s going on, and _you_ know it. This is about us. And us deciding if we have a leg to stand on. Because I know that I trust you, with all my heart. But you don’t trust me, nor should you, at least right now. I have to work on that. _We_ have to work on that. I don’t want this wedding planning to be a distraction to what’s really important. And I want to make sure that we’re both on the same page, because if we’re not, this marriage is doomed before it begins. And as much as saying this kills me. I would rather you figure out what you want now, instead of finding out when we’re married. Because I want it all with you. A marriage, kids, security. And I know I have a lot of stuff to work on. Which is why I’m here now. I’m taking full responsibility for this attack, Jane. I think I knew about the chip, but the procedure to remove it was too painful. I was saving myself that pain. But this pain, right now, between you and me, is so much more painful. I wasn’t expecting to fall for you so quickly. I never have before.  This discourse right now, has me at a loss. I’m not sleeping. I haven’t been keeping anything down. I’m taking anxiety medicine, because apparently that’s a thing now. And I’m constantly worried about saying the wrong thing to you. If I don’t have a chance, tell me now, because if you don’t, and this continues, it’ll be almost too painful to survive.”

“James-,”

“Sweetheart,” he reaches forward to touch her hand, but pulls back. “If we don’t have a leg to stand on, what’s the use of continuing this? Of continuing us? Because I’m wanting to fight for us. And I’m willing to talk. And I’m willing to accept blame for this entire thing. You’re health and well-being are just as important as mine. And if you don’t come together and start _talking_ like you mean something, this is not going to work. Because damn it, I’ve told you from the beginning, that you _do_ mean something. Your opinion is valid. Don’t let silence kill _us._

 


	13. Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’d rather lose you with dignity, then stay and fight for you when I don’t have a chance in hell to win you back. I’m not that guy. I can’t be that guy. I have my own problems.”

Two months later things had slowly returned to normal. _Slowly._

Sam spent day in and day out with Jane and Bucky counseling them, offering them support where the two couldn’t stand on their own. And maybe that was why the bag was taking a beating that day. Two months later, and the two couldn’t figure out where to stand. Where they even stood with each other. And maybe that’s what scared him the most.

Jane was unbelievably silent on all things _their relationship_ outside of what happened between them in space, including letting him touch her. He didn’t understand and Sam hadn’t either. Sam’s best guess was she was still trying to understand herself, but she had been so inviting in her hospital room the day of their engagement.

_And now nothing._

When he wasn’t talking with Sam he spent his days in the gym, testing the limits of the serum, which had Tony cussing at him in a daily basis. Apparently he had to redesign a few walls to make them _Pissed off Bucky Barnes proof._ But at least Tony was talking to him.

Their relationship was rocky, but he’d accepted his fault in his role in hurting Jane, and in turn Tony had grudgingly apologized for trying to come between them. The apology wasn’t needed, not at all. This wasn’t Tony’s fault. This was on him. And he’d been trying to work on it.

Problem was, he didn’t know if Jane even wanted to anymore.

And if she did, she sure wasn’t saying anything.

Bucky grew up with open affection. He was hands on with his women, not that he abused them in anyway, _hell no,_ but he was a self-proclaimed flirt, who loved dating, dancing, and women. Lots and lots of women. No he didn’t have a sexual history with every dame whose skirt he had chased, only some of them made that cut. And when he came out of his Hydra programming the first time, he didn’t view them the same way. Maybe it was God’s way of punishing him for his dishonorable behavior. Pre-marital sex, and Catholic guilt went a long way against God’s way.

But even Steve had called him out on it. Damn punk tried to set him up on so many dates, many he went on. But it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t the same.

And then he met Jane.

She wasn’t like other women. Barely spared him a few glances that first day in her lab, and maybe that’s why he fell for her so easily. Understanding her history made him fall even harder. Earning her trust, her heart, and her love. She was his every breath. His lifeline. His escape. And now except for a few kisses here and there he couldn’t even touch her.

Nothing broke his heart more than seeing Steve or Sam give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. They were her friends. _He was her future._ Or at least he hoped he still was.

He just needed something from her. Something that would tell him that they were going to be ok. A sign. Even a written promise. For all that he was, a former brainwashed assassin and all that he was now, this was the hardest thing he’d ever gone through. And he didn’t know where to begin.

He showered and grabbed a couple of sandwiches for him and Jane and took the last possible bank of elevators to the apartment they now shared with Steve, Sam, and Darcy. Jane felt comfortable there. Key word being _safe_. And since the apartment only had one guest room, Bucky had been assigned to the couch.

He slowly made his way to the apartment, nodding at a couple of stragglers that shared the same floor, but not saying anything, the bag with their lunch, swinging as he walked. He knew she’d be home right now. She barely left the apartment these days. Her brace and casts have come off, she had lowered her pain medication numbers drastically. Not that she liked taking them anyway. And her weight was looking better and better. She was in other words, breathtaking.

There were times when they were all at the table, Steve or Sam would cook lunch or breakfast, and he could barely eat because even when the sleep still clouded her eyes, she was the most beautiful girl in the room. Many times their conversations were carried by Steve, Sam, and Darcy, Jane would put her two-cents in here and there. But other than that, she was quiet. Just watching, studying, observing. Looking everywhere but at him.

_He knew. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her._

He wished her could squash his feelings for her. At times her blank stares as he brought her lunch, or her mindless thank-you were more than he could take. If only she’d look at him the way she had that day. That day she’d agreed to wear his ring. To be his wife. To make him the happiest man on earth. The engagement period shouldn’t be this sad. This heartbreaking.

But this wasn’t a fantasy. This was the real world. And unfortunately the real world had been cruel to him for seventy something years.

_Sometimes he wishes that he hadn’t survived that fall._

He found his way to the apartment and unlocked the door with the thumb pad. Jane was watching tv, and had turned when he heard him come in. He held up a sack, indicating lunch, and she nodded, flipped the television off, and followed him into a kitchen.

He found the dinner plates and pulled their sandwiches, and found a third to put the fries on that they could share, and set the table. She in the meantime had gotten to bottles of water from the fridge, and some napkins and ketchup for the fries. He really loved ketchup.

She sat down and accepted her sandwich from him, before he pulled the chair out from the table across from her, digging into her sandwich in silence. He watched her a few moments before shaking his head and doing the same.

Briefly he wondered if she was feeling the same way he was. He dismissed the thought quickly as she stared past him while eating her sandwich. He shook his head and looked away. “Can you pretend and at least acknowledge my presence today, Jane? Because this isn’t working for me anymore. I’m fighting a losing battle, and I’m not sure if it’s worth it anymore.”

She swallowed a bite and looked straight at him, not saying a word, and he broke down.

“Say something. _Please.”_

She shook her head and took a bite of a fry before responding. “What do you want me to say, James?”

This time he shook his head, and stared right at her, fighting the urge to shout at her. How could she be this damn unfeeling? This damn irrational? How could she _not_ understand the urgency of the situation? “We haven’t had an actual conversation involving us, outside of our sessions with Sam in two months,” his voice was low, harsh, unfeeling. _Pissed._ “I haven’t been alone with you longer than an hour in that long. I haven’t been able to touch you in that time as well. Every time I try to make time with you, you shoot me down,” his voice growing with every sentence, every breath. “I lean in to kiss you, you give me your cheek. And each time I try and do something that lets you know that I care, that I love you, and I worry and care about what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling, I get a smile, and a little nod, and a one word response. And now, I’m here, pouring my heart out, and you’re just staring right through me, _again._ If this is the way it’s going to be, let me know now. I’ve told you over and over how sorry I am. I’ll never, ever be worthy of your forgiveness, but I’ll work to earn it. I’ll never be good enough for you, but I’ll strive every day to be the best I _can_ be. But I can’t be anything with you, if you won’t allow it. If this is what you want, then tell me now. I’ll go peacefully. I’d rather lose you with dignity, then stay and fight for you when I don’t have a chance in hell to win you back. I’m not that guy. I can’t be that guy. I have my own problems.”

She continues to stare ahead, and nods her head. “I don’t know what to say, James.”

He swallows hard and looks away.

“I guess I can’t help the way I’m feeling. I don’t _want_ to feel this way. Of course we need to communicate. But I keep looking at you, and then my nightmares take over. I hate that you’re hurting. And I’ve talked to Sam about it. And he keeps telling me to not lead you on if I don’t see anything happening between us. So I tried. But then I can’t let you go, James.” She looks down at her plate and sniffs, before standing and walking to him. He backs his chair away from the table and she falls into his lap, hugging his neck as the tears fall down her cheeks. “I had no idea what you were thinking, and feeling. And I didn’t care. I was only concerned with myself. And here you are, worried about me,” she kisses his neck, his cheek. “James I don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to have nightmares. I don’t want to not be with you. I’m scared, and confused, and emotional,” she chuckles. “But I love you. And I’ve never stopped. And I never wanted you to feel like this.”

He watched her a few beats, swallowed, then watched her a few more before swearing, “Thank fuck,” and with his right hand, pushed into her hair, pulled her in crashing his lips to hers.

“James,” she gasped as he stood with her in his arms, and made his way to the room she was using, kicking the door shut and locking it, before walking across the room, and laying her down gently on the bed, taking his shirt off. She watches him through glassy eyes, holding her arms out to him, as he joins her, climbing over her, careful not to put his full weight on her.

“This ok, doll?”

“Mm,” she responded by putting her lips to his neck, finding that spot that always made him lose control behind his ear, and giggled when he cursed under his breath.

“I’m trying not to lose it early, baby,” his blue eyes glared down at her a look of amusement on his face.

“I’m sorry,” she shot back with a look that told him she actually wasn’t, and put her arms on his biceps. She was never _not_ amazed at his physique. He never failed to turn her on.

“My ass,” he grinned, and bent down to place a gentle kiss on her lips, before helping her up, to remove her shirt, moaning into her breasts as she straddled his lap. He wrapped an arm around her when she tried to lay back down. “Don’t move,” he muttered his voice muffled by her chest.

“James,” she laughs. “James there’s nothing there.”

He laid her back down, gently, and worked her sweats down and off her legs, before running a hand up a thigh, and biting back a grown as her legs came up and around his waist. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t think like that, James,” she runs a hand down his cheek. “Just feel.”

“I love you.”

“James,” she sighs. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to go another direction entirely, but we're wrapping it up. And I really, really couldn't do that to Bucky. My heart was breaking writing his monologue. Leave your comments. I love to read them!

**Author's Note:**

> This story so far amgas about 10 chapters. I'm working on more, but they could probably bw used for stand alones. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


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